


You Wrote It a Hundred Times

by grapenight



Category: Cobra Starship, Panic! at the Disco, The Academy Is...
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-08
Updated: 2013-03-31
Packaged: 2017-11-28 14:06:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 34,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/675237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grapenight/pseuds/grapenight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a partnered project in English class, and it's just Brendon's luck that he gets paired with the kid who doesn't like him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Surrounded By The Quiet

"The next thing we're going to do in this class is a project, yes, with partners," The teacher answered our questions before we even got to ask them. I was one of the few kids in the class who preferred to work by myself. I had few friends to begin with, and none of them were in this class, so I was always partnered with whoever was left over, which was almost never good. One time I got partnered with this kid who really had no interest in school whatsoever, and halfway through our project he just stopped showing up. So I was definitely not excited for this.

Everyone was already catching their friend's eyes, mouthing, 'Want to work together?'

The teacher stopped this by saying, "But I'm not going to let you pick your partners, that'd be too easy, I need to see how you work with people who aren't your best friends."  
I could practically feel the disappointment surround me in the room, but for me, personally, I felt a lot better. Maybe I'd luck out and not get a completely crappy partner. It also occurred to me that I could get Pete Wentz, or one of his friends, and I suddenly didn't feel quite so confident.

Pete wasn't a bully, he was just more of a jerk. I don't think he seriously meant bad, he probably didn't realize what he was doing, he probably thought it was totally acceptable. Maybe he had even been raised that way, I didn't know enough about him to judge, I just know that If we had to work together, this project would suck. His friends aren't much better, either.

"For the next month or so, you will work with your partner that I'll assign today on a subject I'll assign today. Since it's English class, the project is to write about your topic, however you choose, whether it be an essay or a short story, that is completely up to you. The only important parts are that it's about your topic, your partner helps on it, and it has enough work behind it to seem like you spent a lot of time on it. That means no goofing off during the class and doing your project the night before. I'll assign your partners and topics now, and then you can have the rest of the class to start planning things," the teacher said as she got a piece of paper off her desk.

I waited nervously for her to call my name. Hopefully I would get the quiet, sweet girl, who I didn't really know much about. It would be nice to get to know her, maybe we could even be friends.

"Brendon Urie," I listened closely, praying a good name came after mine. "And Ryan Ross."

Oh no, not him. He was one of Pete's friends, he was right in their clique, and they all loved him. He was a skinny kid, whose hair feel into his eyes, always straightened. I wouldn't even be allowed to own a straightener, not in my strictly Mormon house. That wasn't why I was disappointed to have him as a partner, though. I can deal with people being different, that's no problem to me, I look past it. They problem is that Ryan Ross hates me. I'm not sure what I ever did to him, but he's had it out for me for so long. He'd never full on bully me, he was too smart and too small to do that, his approach was mind games. 

He just loved messing with my head every chance he got, and it really made me feel bad sometimes. My mom always said I was a sweetheart, and I can't stand being messed with. 

I'm actually not good at conflict of any kind, seeing I'm also just as small as Ryan. I also freaked out when people screamed. I was definitely a bit of a wimp.

The teacher finished calling out names and said, "Get with or around your partner, and I'll come around for you to pick your topic."

I looked over to where Ryan was sitting, and he made no move to get up. Guess I'd have to go over there then. The best approach to handling him would most likely be keeping him happy and being nice, maybe then he wouldn't feel the need to torment me. I could have hopes, okay?

"Hi," I said with as much pep as I could muster as I sat in the desk beside Ryan's.

Instead of replying, Ryan looked at me with an unimpressed rescission on his face. Clearly he was telling me he could care less. Fantastic!

I remained silent until our teacher got to us. She had a bowl in her hand, with little slips of paper inside which I was guessing were the topics. I sat back to let Ryan choose, because pulling things out of a hat type activities were always fun, so I thought he'd enjoy it. After a long moment of nothing, I realized he had no intentions of picking out a topic.

I grab the first one my hand touches, and the teacher finally moves on. I open the paper and on it I find one word; Music. 

I was actually excited at seeing that, music was one of my favorite topics ever, so I figured this project would be a piece of cake. Ryan obviously didn't have the same ideas.

He took the paper from me, and when he saw what it said he scoffed. "Why are you so excited about this anyways, Urie? You probably have the worst taste in music ever."

I frown, not expecting that kind of response from him. Clearly when it comes to Ryan Ross, I should lower my expectations.

This month was going to be awfully long.


	2. Everything Comes Back To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brendon living everyday life.

"Brendon, how was school today? Anything fun happen?" My mother asked as I walked into the kitchen after school that day. I loved my mom, I really did, but she just didn't understand, sometimes, although I was pretty sure a lot of parents didn't quite get it.

"It was pretty normal, nothing to excited happened," I informed her as I got a glass of water to drink and sat down at our island. "We started a project in English."

"Oh, really? What's it about?" She asked, thoroughly interested. She always loved hearing about my day, but for her sake I always sweetened it up, sometimes a lot. I couldn't let her think school wasn't always as great for me as she thought it should be.

"Everyone has a different subject. Ryan and I got music, we have to write something about it." 

"Ryan, as in Ryan Ross? I haven't heard you mention him since elementary school, honey! Are the two of you friends again?" She asked excitedly. Ryan and I had kind of been friends, in like, second grade, when everyone was friends with each other. We had never been close, but my mother makes it her job to know everyone I have ever associated with. Especially now when I don't have many friends to talk about.

I didn't want to ruin her happiness, so I let her believe we were friends, and she went on about how I had to invite him over for dinner sometime, how it'd be a great time. I smiled and played along, until I finally excused myself to my room to do homework. 

I would have to remember to tell my mom how well Ryan and I were working together for the next month, all because I made the mistake of mentioning it. Truthfully, the project would be going nowhere fast. After he had kind of made fun of me, he didn't say anything else. I spent the rest of the class doodling in my notebook. I wasn't an artist by any means, but i figured I'd have the next month to work on it. 

My phone buzzed, pulling me out of my memories from earlier. It was my friend, Jon, texting me.

"Want to hang out this weekend? We're going to the movies,' the text read.

I immediately responded with a yes, because any chance to socialize was good enough to me. I had always had fun with Jon, too, so it seemed promising.

Jon was a lot more popular than most of my friends, and it always seemed weird that he'd hang out with me by choice. Jon was special like that, though, and everyone liked him, and never dared say anything bad about him or who he chooses for friends. He was also just the best guy around town, but that was just my opinion.

 

When the weekend finally rolled around, I was more than ready to go to the movies. I loved movies, and seeing them in the theater always made them that much cooler. It also helped that my friends were going to. I wasn't sure who all was going, but knowing Jon, he's probably be the only one of my friends there, and the rest would be his assortment of friends. Not that I really minded, because they were all cool enough, they never made fun of me, or left me out, at least when Jon was around. They were a fun group, too, someone always had some idea that worked out for the better or worse, but always left a great story.

We were meeting at the the cinema closest to my house, so I decided to just take the bus. It wouldn't be a long ride and it'd save me from having to ask for a ride from somewhere. I had my license, but I didn't have my own car, and there was rarely an extra car in my household, so I never got to drive myself anywhere. I didn't mind too much, it was easy enough to find other ways around, I just wished I could drive myself and not have to worry about bus schedules or anything once in a while.

I got to the movie a little early, but luckily for me Jon was already there, along with another kid I recognized as Jon's friend, William. William was very tall and skinny, with long brown hair and a great personality. He was completely out going, and could make friends in no time. He was also really easy to have a conversation with. 

"Hey," I called out as I walked up to where they were waiting.

"Hey, Brendon!" Jon replied enthusiastically. William looked up from where he was texting on his phone and gave me a small wave before continuing. "Don't mind if William doesn't talk much, he's busy having a relationship crisis."

"Am not," William said, still typing on his phone. "She's just freaking insane, that's not my fault."

Jon laughed and shook his head. "We've still got some more people coming," he said, probably for my benefit, because William looked like he could care less at this moment. I hoped his relationship issues worked out well and everything, because it'd suck if would have to be texting like that all the time.

"Who all is coming?" I ask Jon.

"Just two more, my friend Spencer and one of his friends. You probably haven't met Spencer, he's a year below us, but he's cool. I have health with him this semester, and he's one of the most sarcastic little bitch ever. I don't know much about his friend, but he assured me he was cool."

I smiled and nodded. Maybe Spencer and I could be friends. I liked sarcastic people, they always brought a lot of entertainment with them, even if they might have a messed up sense of the world. All the best people do, I guess.

"Oh, I think I see him now," Jon said, and I looked in the direction he was facing. Sure enough, there was a kid about or age with light brown hair walking towards us. With him was a taller skinnier kid, who I shortly recognized as Ryan Ross.

I just couldn't catch a break when it came to him, could I?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't realize until after I was done writing this that a whole bunch of nothing happens here. A lot of this is just setting up the story and everything. I promise it'll get more interesting, and I'll probably have the next chapter tomorrow, ooooooo!


	3. Never Seen Anything Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brendon has the misfortune of seeing a movie with Ryan. Maybe he ca make the best of it.

"Hey guys!" Jon called out to his friends Spencer and Ryan. I was ready to hide behind Jon, and I totally could. Maybe I could just stay behind him the whole time, and then sit way far away from Ryan in the theater, and he'd never even have to know I was here! 

I stopped myself from even thinking that plan through anymore, because it was just crazy, and just because he doesn't like me doesn't mean that I have to sacrifice my fun just for his sake. I should be twelve times more annoying than I usually am, just for his benefit. He could be such a jerk, he deserves it. 

I wouldn't actually do that, either, because I was way too nice. I decided to just act as normal as I could, and maybe everything would go okay. 

"The loser over there, who probably wont stop texting throughout the entire movie, is William. He's cool when he's not going through relationship drama, I promise," Jon told Spencer and Ryan. "And this is Brendon, he's definitely cool."

I smile as Jon says that, because really, Jon was an amazing person, he deserves some awards. 

"Hi," I say, mostly to Spencer, and waved.

"Hey," he replied. "I'm Spencer, and this is Ryan."

Ryan nods, but doesn't acknowledge we know each other at all. If that's how he wants to play it, fine by me. It'd probably work too, we had a big school, it's totally a possibility I had no idea who he was. Too bad I did. 

I realized I actually didn't know much about Ryan at all, other than his friends (I didn't even know about Spencer, though, so that goes to show how much I really knew) and the fact he didn't like me. I still don't even know what I ever did to earn such a dislike from him. 

"Let's go then," Jon says, and we go to buy our tickets, then candy and popcorn. Usually when I'm with Jon, or any of my closer friends, I completely lose the shell I usually have, even if there's people I don't know there too. With Ryan here, it takes me a little while to get of the shyness, but as I see all the wonderful, tasty candy, I stop caring.

"Jon, Jon, Jon, please, can I get candy? Please? I promise I won't get too hyper," I plead, even though it's all a huge lie. Jon knows it too, but maybe he'll let me get some anyways. 

After making the mistake of letting me eat way to much sugar one time, Jon learned that that made my slight hyperness act up like crazy. It wasn't too bad, though, it's not like I was out of control or anything, no that only happens when I have a lot of coffee. Candy was just a small little problem.

Jon gave in and said, "Go for it, B. Just please don't tell your mother I let you have anything, tell her I tried my hardest to stop you, but I just couldn't."

I smile and buy the biggest thing of skittles they have.

"Why aren't you allowed to have candy?" Spencer asks me as we're walking to the theater. Ryan still hasn't said anything, not like I wasn't used to that. He'd probably talk just to insult me, even here.

"Because he is like a child when it comes to big amounts of sugar. He'll be bouncing off the walls in no time. And his very Mormon parents don't enjoy it when he comes home like that," Jon informs him.

"I'm not that bad," I stand up for myself.

"Sure, we'll see in an hour," Jon said. I handed my skittles to Spencer then and hopped on Jon's back, hanging on like a leech. "AH, Brendon!"

I laugh and keep my hold. "Give me a piggy back ride to our seats, go on!"

I could feel him shake his head, but he walked on anyways. "You're lucky you're so tiny, or this wouldn't be nearly as easy for me.

We're the first ones in the theater, which means we get a choose from whatever seats we want. William immediately heads for the back row and plops down, so we follow him. I make sure I'm sitting between William and Jon so I don't have to sit by Ryan. He seems to be thinking the same thing as he sits down at the very end.

I remember that Spencer has my skittles and practically crawl over Jon to get to Spencer, who's on his other side. "Can I have my candy?" I ask as politely as I can as Jon tries to knock me off.

"You have no idea what personal space is, do you?" Jon says as I crawl back into my seat, candy in hand.

"Nope!"

It takes way to long for the movie to start, and I get really bored, so I take a handful of William's popcorn, which I'm not even sure he realizes he bought, and started throwing popcorn at Spencer. he doesn't seem to mind, and he starts trying to catch them in his mouth. One time I throw it right over Spencer and hit Ryan in the eye. He rubs at his "injured" eye and glares at me.

"Whoops?" I say, shrugging.

He smiles, but the smile isn't his normal, pretty one (wait, what?), instead, it's a cruel, cunning smile. "It's on, Urie."

That is how the Popcorn War was started. I won't go into too many details, because it was a very gruesome event, but let's just say, by the end there was popcorn everywhere but the bowls.

Spencer and Jon got the worst of it, because they were right in the middle.

"I think I'm covered in butter," Jon says. "Like, a complete coating."

"Whoops?" I repeat, shrugging again.

Spencer and Jon laugh, and soon the movie starts. The movie was okay, but I spent a lot of it distracted by the light from William's phone screen and the whispering between 

Spencer and Ryan. I could hear that they were whispering, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Eventually, the end credits start rolling, and we get up to leave. William puts his phone away for the first time, and looks around at our seats, confused. "Why is there popcorn everywhere?"

Everyone except William starts laughing like crazy, and he just says, "What? Am I missing something?" Which just makes us laugh harder.

As we're chatting outside, we say our goodbyes and part ways. Before I leave, though, Ryan comes in front of me and just stares at me. He seems happier than I have ever seen him, but considering the only times I've ever seen him have been when I was around, so it wasn't that hard to beat.

"You have popcorn in your hair," he says, then reaches up to my hair and spends way too long pulling the piece out. When he's this close, I can smell him very well, and he smells very good. Like, surprisingly good, not at all like normal, stinky, teenage boy.

"Um, thanks," I mutter, thoroughly confused.

"Yeah. You better get back to your mom now, can't have her worried about poor little baby Brendon," Ryan says rudely, in a taunting voice, then takes off in the opposite direction. That's a lot more like the Ryan I'm used to.

As I walk off in my own direction, I can't help but to think, 'did I just have a semi good time with Ryan Ross?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter today, yay! I'm liking this story so far, I think I can have some fun with this. Another chapter will probably be up tomorrow or Monday, just depends on what happens, you know?


	4. Make This Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hate Mondays more than I hate, well, more than Ryan hates me. So as you can guess, Monday mornings are a special kind of torture.

I hate Mondays more than I hate, well, more than Ryan hates me. So as you can guess, Monday mornings are a special kind of torture. I make my way to school half asleep, and I absorb no knowledge from my first couple classes. 

At lunch, I'm not even motivated enough to look for one of my friends to sit with, so I sit at the first empty table I can find. I pull out the lunch I packed, because I refuse to buy school food for some many reasons, and am surprised when someone sits down across from me.

It wasn't one of my friends, or some kid who wanted to just ridicule me, no, it was Spencer. Jon's friend, Spencer. More concerning, Ryan's friend Spencer.

"Hi?" I greet him questionably.

"Hey. I got bored of the people I usually sit with, and then I saw you over here, all alone, and I decided to come sit here. Are you okay with that?" Spencer says, answering my silent question.

"Sure," I say. "I have a feeling you probably wouldn't leave even if I did say I didn't want you here."

He smiled as he took a bite of the sandwich he had. "Smart kid. Okay, so since it's just us here, what's between you and Ryan?"

His question catches me completely off guard. "I don't know what you're talking about," I say, hoping he believes me.

He doesn't. "Don't give me that shit. I know we haven't known each other long, but come one, man, you can trust me."

I sigh and look down at my shoes, which are old and slightly falling apart. I really need to get new ones sometime. I take a deep breath, summoning the courage before I say, "I don't know why, but Ryan hates me. He always has, I mean, since elementary school. I must've done something to offend him, or maybe I just offend him by existing, I don't know.  
Please don't say anything to him though, that wouldn't be cool."

"No worries," Spencer assures me. "I can't think of why he would hate you, though. I mean, I'm his best friend, I know who he hates and why, but I didn't even know he knew you before the movies the other day. He must have his reason buried deep down inside himself, which wouldn't surprise me. Ryan could be a piece of work sometimes."

"You're telling me," I murmur. After that the conversation moves on from Ryan, thankfully, and I actually have a good time at lunch, much better than if I would've sat with my somewhat friends. It helped me get out of my Monday depression, too, which was really great.

"You better sit here more, now, because I can't go back to the boring people I usually sit with," I tell Spencer as the bell signalling the end of lunch rings. 

"Yeah, I will, don't worry. You're good company, Urie. See you."

The next couple classes go amazingly well, so as I walk into my English class, I'm in a really good mood. I was even humming slightly. When I remembered the project that I would be working on, though, my mood instantly sunk. Another day of getting ignored by Ryan when we're supposed to be working on our project, fun.

I sit down beside the seat where Ryan usually sits, because I know we'll have to sit by our partners anyways, no since and having to move. As Ryan walks in and sees me sitting beside his chair, he sighs and walks considerably slower to his seat, before sliding into it. He doesn't look at me again, just shifts around in his book bag.

"Hi, Ryan," I say, trying to start the day off well. Ryan doesn't acknowledge that I said anything, and pulls out a book to read.

I sigh and rearrange my pencils to keep myself busy. The teacher tells us that today is ours to work on our projects, then ignores us for the remaining class period. I feel like this whole project idea was just a scheme to get some free time to herself.

Ten minutes pass before I can no longer stand the silence between Ryan and I. I pull my desk so that I'm facing Ryan and he's facing me. I see him peek up at me between his bangs, but he ignores me and goes back to his book.

"Here's what we're going to do," I say as I pull out a clean piece of paper. I set it in between us. Ryan actually looks up at me, now, and I take that as incentive enough to continue.

"I know you don't like me, fine, whatever, to each his own, but we're going to have to do this project together, so we're going to. We've got time to work on that, though, so for right now, we're going to get to know each other. It'll be fun!" I say enthusiastically. Maybe if we knew more about each other, we'd get along better.

"I'm going to write down something about myself, then I'll pass the paper to you and you'll read what I wrote, and then you'll write something of your own. See, this way you don't even have to talk to me, how cool is that? And if you don't do it, I'll tell our teacher you're not working on the project at all." That part got Ryan's full attention. "Yeah, I'll go that far, don't doubt me. Okay, let's start now."

I write down, 'I once had a dog that I named Polka Dot."

I pass it to Ryan, and he reads it and hesitates before he writes something down.

'I've never had a pet,' is what Ryan wrote. That was weird to me because I'd always grown up with pets. 

'I've never kissed anyone. No judging,' is my reply. I see him smile slightly in amusement as he reads it. I can't help that not only am I the weird Mormon kid, but braces, glasses and acne doesn't make a person very kissable. I did get my braces off last month, and my skin has been clearing up, but there's sadly nothing I can do about the glasses. Except contacts, but that would involve my parents buying them for me, and that surely wasn't going to happen.

'I have,' is all Ryan says.

'I play a lot of instruments,' I write next, not wanting to delve any deeper into the kissing area. I can't help but wonder just what all Ryan has done and who he has done it with, and I really don't need that.

 

'I play guitar,' Ryan writes. We actually have something in common, look at that!

'Our project is supposed to be about music,' I write. 'We both play instruments, and I'm sure we both like music a lot. I mean, I know you do because you wear a lot of band shirts, and I like some of those bands, too.' 

I'm slightly shy giving the paper to him, then, because not only does it talk about the project that we've been ignoring, but it also let's him know that I might've been paying attention to him, which probably isn't a good thing.

There's not enough time to see what his reaction is, though, because the bell rings then, and the school day is over. I gather my stuff as quickly as I can before Ryan can remark about what I said. I'll save that embarrassment for tomorrow, maybe I'll be able to think of some way to make it seem reasonable by then.

Other than my last comment, the writing thing much better than I had thought it would. Maybe Ryan could tolerate me if he tried hard enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, another chapter! I really like how this turned out, yes! This is going places, and if continues like this, it'll be good. I hope someone's reading this story, because i already really like it.


	5. Fear Will Hold You Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I stare at Ryan for one... two... three... seconds, waiting for his response. Just looking at his stupid face makes me mad.

The next day, after spending another enjoyable day at lunch with Spencer, I walk into English hopeful, and a little nervous. Hopefully Ryan didn't find my last note too strange, because that would save us both a lot of trouble. 

I got there before he did, like I usually did, so I took the same seat as yesterday and waited. He walked in with his friend, Pete, the one who could be a huge jerk sometimes. 

"Aw, Ryan, look," Pete said as they walked over to Ryan's desk beside mine. "You've got a good little partner, he's just sitting there waiting for you, how sweet!" 

I blush and look down at my lap. I could never handle these situations very well, I just didn't know how to react. I wasn't the type of person to make a big deal and fight back, but I didn't want to just sit there and let everyone walk all over me. 

I kind of hoped that Ryan might tell him to back off, or something, but I was beyond wrong. He laughed and joined in, but I was saved by the teacher starting class. Once she lets us go on our own, I continue looking at my lap, at the threads of my jeans, because I really didn't feel up to trying to be friendly with Ryan, if all it was going to get me was made fun off. 

A few minutes into our mutual silence, a piece of paper is placed in front of me. In Ryan's handwriting it says, 'I'm sorry for Pete,' 

I was surprised that he said that, that he even noticed that I was bothered by what just happened. 

'Worse things have happened than that,' I wrote back. 

'I broke my arm once in third grade,' he said, swinging the topic. 

'I tripped a kid and broke his nose when I was four. I spent the next month giving him all my gummies because I felt bad.'

'You're a strange kid,' Ryan wrote back, and he smiled as I read it.

'That wasn't a fact about yourself, I already know I'm strange.'

He hesitated for a moment before writing, 'I didn't think you weren't a huge jerk at the movies this weekend.'

I laughed, because to Ryan, that must seem like a lot of progress. He really does hate me. 'I didn't think you were a jerk either. Well, actually, you kind of were, but you got better.'

I expect him to write back, but instead he actually talks out loud. To me. "It's not my fault you showed up where I really wasn't expecting you. How'd you expect me to act?"

"Like a complete jerk," I say before I can stop myself. "I mean, I had expected you to tell me to leave so I wouldn't ruin your night. It was nice when you didn't."

Ryan just looked at me, like he was shocked that I actually said that. I was shy, sure, but I do have opinions that I want to share sometimes. And when I got over my fear, I would say whatever I wanted.

The bell interrupted our conversation, but it was probably for the better, because I didn't see it going very far. Ryan and I would never be friends, it was pretty much a fact. 

Hopefully we could at least be fairly civil to each other on occasion.

 

When Friday rolled around, I found myself getting pulled into Jon's car after school. He didn't ask me if I wanted to go somewhere, he told me we were, and then he took me with him. I had no idea where we were going, but I was actually pretty happy to have something to do one a Friday night. It kind of made me feel like a regular teenage boy. I was very well behaved, probably because of my family's religion, but sometimes it really sucked to think of all the high school experiences I was missing out on. I had never gotten drunk, or even had a drink, because that would be breaking so many rules, and I could only imagine how pissed off my parents would be if they found out.

Really, my parents were the only ones happy with my good boy image, and if I broke that in anyway, the would think it was an unforgivable act. They were very serious about our religion, and just how my life went all together. I wasn't sure about that. For awhile, I had the feeling that the Church just wasn't right for me, but I could never get the guts to tell them. I couldn't just break their hopes and dreams for me. Because, to them, not being in our religion would surely mean I was heading down a path to crime.

"Where are we going?" I ask Jon for about the third time as we're driving.

He smiles and says, "I'm still not going to tell you, man, so stop asking."

I pout and flop down in the passenger seat. That just makes Jon laugh and turn up the music louder. 

Eventually, we pull into the local mall's parking lot. "Why are we here?" I ask Jon, bouncing slightly in my seat with anticipation.

"Not going to tell you that either," Jon said and I pouted some more.

As we walk into the mall, I see Spencer. "Hey! It's Spencer! Are we supposed to be meeting him here?" I ask Jon, and he nods in response.

I take that as permission to go say hi to Spencer. Due to the fact that I actually really liked Spencer, he was super cool, even if I had only met him once, I greeted him by a huge hug. He was very surprised.

"Spencer!" I exclaimed as I hugged him. "Jon just kidnapped me from school, no don't laugh he literally did, and he wouldn't tell me anything! How mean is that?"

Spencer laughed as I let him go. "Hey Brendon, I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties."

Jon walked up behind me and said, "He's just over exaggerating."

"Nuh-uh!" I say, and it's then that I notice Ryan is standing by Spencer. The rest of the week in English had been silent, neither of us talked to each other, even in paper form. We didn't even really have a fight, but we just weren't meant to get along, I guess.

"Hi, Ryan," I say anyways, not wanting to seem like a jerk. But I did notice how I didn't sound as happy when I said that as I had before. I might have imagined it, but I thought I saw Jon and Spencer exchange a look. I didn't like that.

Ryan nodded back to me, stiff and polite. Nothing about Ryan Ross was ever polite, I knew crap when I saw it.

"Now that we're here, let's go, I need to find stuff," Spencer said, Ryan sighed loudly, and Spencer shot him a look. I thought it might be about me, but it didn't make sense because Ryan was always more silent about his dislike for me, never that open, so it didn't make sense.

Soon, I learned it wasn't about me at all. It was about going shopping with Spencer. He was a hardcore shopper, and I certainly wasn't prepared for it. Three hours in, I was hungry and worn out. How could shopping even wear a person out? 

"Spencer," I whined, for about the third time. "Can we go get food or something. Spencer, it's been like, six hours since I've eaten. Spencer, please."

He was wonderful at ignoring my pleads. Usually it took months for a person to be able to resist my charm, but Spencer seemed to have the ability right away. He sucked.

I whined even more, hoping to finally get him to stop, but he apparently just needed that perfect pair of shoes, and he wasn't stopping until he had them. Jon was just as worn out as I was, but he didn't whine, because he's Jon and he's an all around better person than I was. Ryan seemed indifferent, and I chalked that up to him being used to it. 

After another twenty minutes, Spencer was still on the hunt. I was bored now too, on top of being completely worn out. Spencer still didn't listen to my whines.

"Spencer, come on, I'll come shopping with you tomorrow to find shoes, let's just go get dinner now," Ryan and said, and by some holy force, Spencer actually listened. I realized Ryan was taking a bullet for Jon and I, and I was very grateful. Ryan could actually be really nice, if he wasn't so set on being a jerk.

As I'm in the car with Jon on the way to the restaurant we were eating at, I got a call from my mom. I didn't want to talk to her in the car with Jon around, so I waited until we got there, and then I went into the bathroom to call her.

She was really mad, because I didn't tell her I was going out. "Brendon Boyd Urie, get home right now! You didn't even ask if you could go out tonight, what if I had needed you to do something?"

"Mom," I argued, "It's one night, I'm almost always at home, couldn't you at least let me have this much?"

"Now you're back talking me? Brendon, if you aren't home in the next ten minutes, there will be penalties, and you won't like them."

I got really mad at that. "I'm not coming home now, I'm staying, and I don't care what you say. Just let me be a fucking teenager,' I yelled before hanging up, not waiting for a reply. 

Now I was really in for it. Cussing was not allowed, and on top of the situation already, I wasn't in a good place. I never usually said anything bad, if not for the religious aspect, to the fact that I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but now I just didn't care. I've had enough.

I go back to my friends, but I don't say anything, I just sit and sulk. Jon knows better than to saying anything, because I don't get mad often, but when I do it's best to just leave me alone, and Spencer must have caught on to it, because he doesn't say anything either. They both act completely normal, but as we're eating, I see Ryan shooting concerned looks at me.

What right did he have to care about how I was feeling? He should just be happy that I'm feeling bad. it's his perfect chance to make me feel even worse.

After a half an hour of this, I can't take anymore. "Ryan! Just stop looking at me! Make your nasty comment to make me feel like shit, go ahead, do it! I know you've just been waiting for the proper opportunity to show just how much you hate me, do it already! Come on, Ryan!" I yell way to loudly for a public place. I don't even care about that.

I stare at Ryan for one... two... three... seconds, waiting for his response. Just looking at his stupid face makes me mad. He doesn't say anything, and I stand up and leave the restaurant, going outside to sulk against the wall of the building. It's cool outside, and it's the perfect chance for me to cool down. there's a possibility I was overreacted in there. 

Too late now. I lay my head back against the cool brick and close my eyes. I imagined, soon, when I could be at college, away from my parents constricting lifestyle. I could be my own person, have my very own life.

Out of seemingly nowhere, there's a hard shove against my shoulders, sending me hard into the wall, then someone holding me there. My eyes open wide in shock, I hadn't even heard someone approach. It was Ryan, which made sense. I was afraid he was about to beat me up. I wouldn't fight back, either, I didn't have the will, I was just wiped out.

"You want to know why I dislike you so much, Brendon?' Ryan said, and he was right there, in my face, I could feel his breath against my skin and it sent shivers down my spine. "Do you really want to know? I'll fucking tell you, since you want to know so badly."

I was waiting for some reason, something that would make me feel like crap about myself, or even a punch in the face. 

What I got was Ryan's lips pressed against my own, and they were warm, and they were Ryan's and my mind couldn't quite wrap itself around what was happening. 

It finally hit me that Ryan was kissing me, and even that didn't make sense. Why would he do that?   
He pulled away shortly, even though enough thoughts flew by in my brain in the couple of seconds it lasted to feel like an hour. I saw his face, and the anger, and what I realized later was want that flashed through his eyes. He waited only a moment before walking away, going who knows where. I didn't care, I was too busy processing the situation.

Ryan had kissed me. That's why he didn't like me. Was it because he liked me too much? And that fact scared him?

After this, all I knew was that both Ryan and I were very messed up individuals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! But it's here now! So, this chapter really wasn't working out for me until the very end. I like the end. Now some fun stuff can happen. Are you excited? I am!!!


	6. Who Wants To Wake Up?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brendon has to face some things.

I walked back into the restaurant, and both Spencer and Jon were looking at me with worry. They didn't know what happened outside, but they had to know something happened. They were both pretty much my friends, I could probably tell them what happened... But I knew I couldn't, because I couldn't let anything I said hurt Ryan.

I didn't know for sure, but I could guess that Ryan's sexuality problems were a secret to himself, and now me, apparently. I didn't know if he had always felt like this, if he only felt this way about me, or it was a spur of the moment thing. I had no idea about any details. I guess I'd have to figure them out myself.

Right now, I had bigger problems to deal with, like my fight with my mother.

"I need to get home soon, I guess," I tell Jon, and he just nods, being the good friend he is. Way too soon, I'm back at home, standing outside my house.

I had warned Jon that I would probably get in a lot of trouble and that he shouldn't expect me to get hang out anytime soon. He was completely fine with it, he had even been sorry for causing me to get in trouble. I had assured him it wasn't his fault, it was mine. I was happy that Jon was such a good friend to me, I think everyone needs a Jon Walker in their life.

After just staring at my front door, I finally got the courage to walk in. Of course, both of my parents were waiting for me, and they had their 'You're in big trouble now' looks on their faces.

"Brendon, I am very disappointed in your actions tonight," My father said sternly. "And frankly, I'm not going to let this go on any longer. You're grounded for the next month, you can go to school and church and that's it, no spending time with friends. And you will behave, or you'll get another month. Do you understand?"

Any smarter person would have nodded then, and then ran away before anything worse happened. I, on the other hand, had to be dumb. "I have a project for school, though, I'm going to have to work on that outside of school."

"Brendon, what did I say? Now you're trying to trick me into letting you out? What is going on with you son?"

The next hour of my time was spent getting lectured from both of my parents. It got to the point where i almost laughed about how out of hand the whole situation was getting, them saying I would ruin my life, all because I was hanging out with my friends for an evening. luckily I didn't laugh, because that would certainly get me another month of grounding. I would like to have free time before I graduate, thanks. 

Finally, they stopped, and I was allowed to go up to me room. I wasn't really allowed to do anything in my room, though, under the grounding rules, so I just sat on my bed and thought.

I thought about Ryan and the kiss a lot, but i couldn't really go very far with that, since I knew almost nothing about the situation. I'd have to get to know more about him to understand what the heck happened. That also drew questions to my own sexuality. I had never thought much about it before, I had always assumed I was straight. Also coming from an extremely religious family, not being straight would cause a lot of problems, because I know my parents would never accept it. It didn't matter that I was their son. But when I thought about it, I've never really had an interest in girls. I was always a weird child, so I never really noticed or cared, but after some thinking, I realized I paid a lot more attention to the boys than the girls. 

I also enjoyed the kiss too much to be straight. It didn't last long or anything, but there were so many reasons why I should have freaked out at Ryan's lips on mine, but not one of them seemed to bother me in that moment.

And on top of all of this confusion, I was also grounded, now. There would be no way for me to straighten all this out. 

I got an idea then, and it was the dumbest thing ever. i would get caught, I knew I would, but it seemed like the best option I had. How hard would it be to sneak out of the house anyways?

The next night, Saturday, my question was answered. Not hard at all. All I had to do was walk out of the front door while my parents were in their room. It was after dinner, and my parents were still mad at me, so there would be no reason for them to come and check up on me. I might actually be able to get away with this. 

Now that I was out, i had another problem. Where was I going to go? I could go to Jon's, I guess, but he wouldn't really help me solve any of my problems, since I didn't want to share any of Ryan's secrets with him.

I guess there was only one person I could go to now.

I sent Spencer a text (I had gotten him number the other day at school, and my parents had decided they weren't going to take my phone away, in case I needed to call someone in an emergency. I wasn't allowed to use it in any other ways, though, and they were just using the honor system for that one. What they didn't know wouldn't hurt them). The text said, "Where can I find Ryan?"

Two minutes later I got a reply. It was an address, and afterwards it said, "Don't be a dick to him about anything you see. He's got more problems than you know."

With that somewhat concerning message, I sent off for what I was guessing to be Ryan's house. I was guessing that permission from Spencer to get a deeper look into Ryan's life would be good enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is the irregular posting schedule bothering anyone? I could probably do it on a set schedule if anyone wanted. Like, every other day? Or I could keep just posting them whenever. It doesn't matter to me! But this chapter was a little bit of nothing wasn't it? I'll make sure the next one is nice and jam packed with stuff. Hope you enjoyed it!


	7. I Thought (Guess I Thought Wrong)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan's house was... normal. I'm not sure why I would expect it to be anything else, but it just struck me that Ryan was a real person with a real life, and family. It was a strange moment. I knew so little about the boy, it was so weird.

Ryan's house was... normal. I'm not sure why I would expect it to be anything else, but it just struck me that Ryan was a real person with a real life, and family. It was a strange moment. I knew so little about the boy, it was so weird.

I walked up to the front door and knocked, preying that I wasn't interrupting anything inside. The door was pulled open to reveal a man, probably in his forties, more than likely Ryan's dad. He didn't look very much like Ryan, he wasn't stick thin or pretty, but their hair colors were very similar. If I had to guess I would say Ryan looked a lot more like his mother.

"Hi, Mr. Ross," I said, hoping that's who I was talking to. "I'm a friend of Ryan's, do you think I could talk to him?" 

I didn't really talk to other people's parents very often, I didn't have many friends, so i was probably more than a little awkward throughout this whole exchange. Mr. Ross didn't seem to care. He just waved me off in a general direction and went back to the living room to watch television. Either he was in a bad mood, or he wasn't a very nice person, I didn't know which. This did give me a deeper look into Ryan's life, though. 

I headed in the direction I had been waved in, but I really had no idea where I was going. I opened a few doors to see if they were the right ones, and they weren't, just a closet or a bathroom. I finally got to a door that was tightly shut, and I could hear some music poring through. There was no way that wasn't Ryan's room.

I knocked on this door, banging a little harder than necessary so it could be heard over the music. The music stopped instantly though, so it wasn't much of a problem.

The door slid open fast, but came to a stop when I was revealed.

"Brendon?" Ryan said, surprised. 'What the hell are you doing here?"

The tone was not very inviting. Okay, then, if that's how he wants to play it.

"I can't just hang out with my great friend? That hurts me, Ryan, very deeply."

He glared at me, and I couldn't help but smile. "Am I allowed in?"

Ryan sighed and pulled the door open another inch and went back to the chair he was presumably sitting in before I bothered him.

"What do you want, Brendon, really?" He said, soft, and not as pointed as the last one.

I took a seat on his neatly made bed (that surprised me, my bed was never made, but Ryan being a neat person didn't surprise me). 

"Well, I figured we'd have to talk about the other day eventually. I'm not just going to ignore it," I said, not stating the exact event I was talking about. He knew what I was talking about, I could tell from the look in his eyes.

He looked away from me and down to the floor, which was clean of clothes or anything else. "Do you want me to apologize, or something?"

I could tell it took a lot for him to say that, especially to me. I think it showed how Ryan could actually be mature, which, wow, surprising.

"No," I told him. "I want to know why you did it, or why me, I don't even know, I'm just so confused."

He looked at me again and laughed. "You think you're the confused one? I had always hated you, I don't know why, you were just an annoying prick. But I would find myself thinking about you a lot. I mean, you think about people you hate a lot, if you hate them enough, that seems normal. But I didn't really have a reason to hate you, and then I started to think about you in different ways. Like how fucking beautiful or eyes were, or how you had a nice laugh, and then I realized maybe I didn't hate you much at all," He paused, and looked at me seriously. "Don't laugh or anything, fuck, I just don't know."

I didn't laugh, not at all. What I wanted to do was kiss him again. For someone who hadn't even thought of boys in that way a week ago, things had surely changed fast. But I found all I really wanted to do was walk over to him and feel his lips on mine again, and maybe wrap my arms around him. 

Surprisingly, or maybe not that surprising at all, that's just what I did. Ryan didn't fight it, he kissed me back pretty enthusiastically. We were standing at that point, and I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him close to me. he felt so good and warm, and I was pretty sure I wanted to be no where else but kissing Ryan Ross right then. It was a strange thought.

I pulled away. "You want to know what's strange? I like that way more than I should. Heck, before last week I had never even thought about kissing a boy, but for about the last day that's all I could think about. I don't know why, but you do something weird to me."

We stared at each other, and I was pretty sure we were both equally lost and confused. We started kissing again, mostly because that was one thing we were both certain of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, another chapter! I'm sorry it's so short, I really do want to write longer chapters, and maybe they'll eventually get longer, but for now I guess this is what they'll be. I hope this story isn't too boring or anything. I'm working on it! Expect a WONDERFUL chapter on Friday. Yeah, it's going to be nice and long and lovely, and it will happen! And some more characters will come back (like William maybe? I really want him back in, he just has to find a way to sneak himself in. Maybe he'll even get off of his phone this time!)


	8. Right Here, Right Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I stood up a bit straighter, "Okay, so I might be a little innocent, and I might seem younger than I am, but I'm not actually a child."

After about an hour of us just making out (seriously, you should try it sometime, it's amazing), we took a break to wrap our thoughts around what was happening.

"Okay," I started. "So, I actually don't hate you at all. I never have." 

He looked surprised at that.

"What?" I asked. "You were the one who didn't like me, that didn't necessarily mean that it had to be the other way around too." 

Ryan chuckled at that. "Are you telling me this so it's clear that we both like each other?"

I nod, because I really didn't know what to say. This was certainly a messed up situation, and one that I had never been in before. I haven't even had a normal relationship yet, I didn't know how to handle a messed up one.

"Oh shit, this is fucking weird, man," Ryan stated. 

"You're telling me," I agreed. After that neither of us really knew what to say. The silence stretched on forever. We were sitting on Ryan's bed at the moment, a nice amount of space between us, since we weren't kissing anymore. I slid closer to him, being slow in my movements, not very certain about them. 

He stared at me, and I looked back at him. He was so pretty, his face flushed and lips red. It was definitely a turn on. Apparently, I didn't even know what turned me on until it was right in front of me. I mean, I went all that time interested in the wrong sex. I was really clueless. I knew I liked kissing Ryan, though, no matter what. It was fun, it was nice, it felt so good I couldn't even comprehend. How is it that someone's lips against mine could put me so out of my mind, how is that even a possibility. 

I pushed Ryan down, softly, so that he was laying down on his bed, and I crawled over top of him, lightly straddling his hips. I had never been in this position before. I leaned down and kissed Ryan energetically, since we definitely weren't going to talk anymore, or at least talk about anything productive.

My hands were on either side of Ryan's head, propping me up. Ryan's hands slowly made it up to rest on my hips. He slid my shirt up a little bit so he could run his thumb along the top of my hipbone, and it sent shivers through me. 

I lightly bit at his lip. I had learned he liked that, and I would use anything I had to keep him right there, kissing me. 

"Boy!" Ryan's father screamed from downstairs. "What the fuck are the two of you doing up there? It's nearly midnight!"

If my own mother would have said that, it would've been in a kind, slightly warning town. Ryan's father wasn't like that at all. It was harsh and mean, and he didn't seem to care that there was somebody else in the house. 

"Oh, crap," Ryan whispered as he pushed me off of him. "You've got to go, Dad's pissed, you don't want him to take it out on you. And believe me, he doesn't care who you are, all he cares about is the fact that he's mad."

I got up off his bed and followed him to his door. "Is he always like that?" I whisper.

Ryan looks at me, and he nods. Maybe that's why Ryan's like he is sometimes. Life has to be hard when you've got a father like that.

"And you mom?" I know I'm probably crossing some sort of line, I'm not his therapist or anything, but he answers me anyways, nonchalantly. "Left. Awhile ago." I stare at him, the pretty, dark boy, that I really didn't know much about at all. I was determined to become a part of his life, to help him in anyway I could. He was special, I could tell. 

I pulled him in for a hug before I left. Yet again, I was crossing some kind of line and I knew it, but I didn't care. Ryan didn't quite hug me back, but he didn't resist, so I figured it was a step.

We had gone from hating each other to maybe not hating each other, and for us I figured it was progress. Also, we had a pretty nice make out session during that, so it was a win for everyone.

 

I got home without and back in my room without my parents ever knowing that I was gone, which worked out really well. 

The rest of the weekend I behaved like a good kid, doing my chores, not sneaking off, going to church without complaint, things like that. The whole time I was thinking about Ryan and what had happened. 

Monday finally rolled around, and I was actually a little bit excited for school. Also nervous, because I really had no idea what would happen today. The ball was in Ryan's court.

When I got to lunch, absolutely nothing different had happened that day, but I hadn't really expected it to, since I didn't have any classes with Ryan until English.

I was in a good mood, even though I hadn't seen Ryan. I plopped down beside Spencer at the table that we had made ours. "Hi, Spencer, how are you? Wonderful, I hope."

"I'm fine. Not as good as you are, if I had to guess," he said.

I smiled and nodded. I was about to tell Spencer about what a good time I had in math class, since I didn't pay attention and spent the entire period doodling in my notes, it was awesome, when Ryan, of all people sat down beside me. He and Spencer were really good friends, but that was outside of school, I had never seen them together in school. Ryan had his school friends, like Pete and Gabe, and they weren't the type of people who would ever hang around me or Spencer. By default, so was Ryan.

"Whoa, Ryan, what are you doing here?" I ask before I could stop myself. I was in one of those moods where i was so happy I didn't care.

"Um, I wanted to sit with you guys today. That's okay, right?" Ryan looked shyly between Spencer and I.

I laughed, because really, like I would mind sitting with Ryan. "Not at all! Unless your friends are going to come over here and beat me up to get you back. Because Spencer might be able to take them, but I can't."

I hadn't even thought about that before I said it, but it really was true. I wouldn't last long at all if they came to beat me up. Would they care that we stole their friend from them? I would be sad, but then again they aren't me.

"Brendon," Spencer said. "You can kind of be a dumbass, you know that? Why would they bother you for Ryan sitting over here? That's ridiculous. Hey, wanna trade sandwiches?"

And the whole Ryan thing was accepted like that. Lunch went on, well, not normally, because Ryan was there, but it was nice. Ryan sat with me, right beside me actually, for half an hour and didn't even glare at me once. I guessed we were becoming friends. There was one time where Ryan put his hand on my knee, under the table, and I was so surprised that I jumped and squealed (in a totally manly way, I promise) a little, but Ryan just acted like he had nothing to do with it. 

Spencer was perfectly okay with his friend suddenly hanging out with him, and I figured he was familiar enough with Ryan that he knew the motives behind some of the weird things he did. 

"Where's Jon?" Ryan asked.

"Sitting with some friends probably," I said, not really paying much attention. i was too busy playing with a pack of gummies I had. I was trying to make them into a pyramid and it was a lot harder than you'd think it'd be.

"He doesn't sit with you guys? I thought you were close?" Ryan continued. I fought the urge to point out that Ryan and Spencer were really close but he'd still sit with his other friends. High school kids were weird kids, we did strange things.

"Jon's got lots of other friends," Spencer said. Ryan was probably about to keep going, but I had finally finished my gummy pyramid.

"Look, look!" I said excitedly. 

"Are you five?" Ryan said in a way that before all of this would have been mean and condescending, but now was just playful joking.

"He brings a pack of those everyday and sees the need to play with them every time, I wouldn't pay him much attention," Spencer said, and then got up to throw his trash away.

I turned to Ryan, "Don't mind him, this is loads of fun. I could bring a pack for you tomorrow, if you want me to!"

Ryan smiled brightly and nodded. Secretly, or not so secretly at all, I was really pleased. I liked Ryan.

 

In English later that day, Ryan and I still got nothing done on our project. It wasn't because he ignored me now, though, it was because we kept going on about other stuff. It was the best English class I had all year. Ryan had this really messed up sense of humor, and also a very strong view on certain topics, like books. I finally understood how he had always gotten the best English grades in the class, it was because he actually just loved the class.

The bell rang too soon, and Ryan and I had to go our separate ways. As I was leaving the school, I saw William and Jon talking outside of the school. Normally, I would just wave and go on with my business, especially considering I was grounded, and being late would only get me in more trouble, but since I was in such a good mood I walked over to them and joined the conversation.

"Hey, guys, how are you?" I asked them.

William actually didn't look so good. 

Jon shook his head and said, "Not so good, William's been having relationship drama again. I'm not saying it wasn't his own fault, though.

I looked at William questionably, waiting for him to elaborate. He glares at Jon, and says, "Now you're going to make me look like a bad guy to Brendon! In his head, things like this probably don't even happen. It's probably full of kittens and sunshine!"

I stood up a bit straighter, "Okay, so I might be a little innocent, and I might seem younger than I am, but I'm not actually a child."

Jon laughed and said to William, "That's your own fault too."

"Fine! So I might have cheated on my girlfriend. With a guy. But in my defense, I was drunk as shit! And okay, I kind of liked him more than her anyways."

There were a lot of things I could have gotten out of that statement, like the fact that he cheated, or that he was drunk, which were all big no-no's in my religion, but I really didn't care about those.

"So wait. The thing, with the guy, how exactly did that work?" Was what I got out of that, instead.

There was silence. William and Jon looked at me. And then there was more silence. "Are you asking about the sex?" William finally asked.

I bit my lip and nodded. I had no idea how it happened. i knew it was a possibility, but I never knew how, and I think my parents worked hard to make sure I didn't know.

They stared at me a bit longer before Jon chuckled. "Okay, William, I know you've got your own problems and all, but I really think Brendon needs our help right now."

"Oh, god," William said. "I thought I'd get to wait at least twenty years before I'd have to explain sex to anyone, and then it'd be my kids. Why do you need to know this, Brendon?"

I could feel my face heat up, and I could barely say what I needed to, "Well, um, you see, I kind of, yeah."

Jon guessed what I was getting at, luckily, to save myself from going on even longer. "There's a guy, isn't there?"

I nodded. They looked at each other and the William finally said, "Come on, you guys can come over to my house. Right here isn't really the best place to be discussing this."

I agree, even though I'm grounded and I knew this would get me in trouble. Maybe I could say I had a tutoring session? I would be learning something, so it technically wouldn't be a lie. My mother would prefer to hear a lie than what was actually happening, I knew that was true. When had my life changed so much?

The answer to that more than likely had something to do with Ryan Ross. Of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo!!! I finished another chapter! And it's not as short as some of the others! I liked this one, and I have a feeling the next one will be super fun (sex ed with William? Yeah!). If you haven't been able to tell, Brendon is just super innocent. I really like writing this, I hope everyone else likes it too!


	9. My Name Is On the Tip of Your Tongue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have to stop myself from cringing at his bluntness, but I nod. I'm too embarrassed to say much.

"Okay, so, where should we start?" William asked Jon after we're all in his room and seated. 

Jon shakes his head, "This is all on you. You're the one who is well practiced in all of this, I'm straight." 

William shakes his head, "I'm still not buying that. Alright, Brendon," William now turned to me. "You are aware that men have dicks right?" 

I have to stop myself from cringing at his bluntness, but I nod. I'm too embarrassed to say much. 

"Good, good! that's a nice starting place!" William said, way more excited than he should be. Jon sits in William's desk chair, shaking with laughter. "And so you're also aware that having sex with another guy does involve another penis, right?" 

I nod again, wanting to hide somewhere. Jon laughs even harder (I really hate him right now) and William looks unaffected. 

"Good! Sex can vary in many ways, but I'm pretty much going to give the simple details, I'll let your guy explain anything else to you, because really, I'm not sure how much of this Jonathan can handle," William says, shooting a pointed glare at Jon. He still hadn't stopped laughing. 

"So basically, if you have sex with a guy, one of you gets a dick up your ass," William said, completely serious. My eyes widen with shock. How does that even work, isn't that painful, what? All of these questions float through my mind, but I'm to shy to say them. 

Jon almost falls out of the chair because he's laughing so hard. "William," he said between laughs, "he's freaking out, come on, make it sound a little better." 

"What?" William says. "I'm just telling the truth." 

I'm still freaking out, because this all is starting to sound a lot more like torture than anything good. 

William must finally catch on to the fact that I'm panicking, and he says, "It's not as bad as it sounds. I mean, it hurts the first time sure, or if you don't prepare enough, but it's not always awful. Before you actually go at it, you use fingers to stretch your hole open and stuff, and you use lube which makes it a lot easier, believe me." 

Jon starts going into a coughing fit, from laughing too much. 

William continues, "And, there's this thing called your prostate, and if he hits that, wow, yeah, it feels really good." 

I'm still in shock, but it is starting to sound better. Not quite as bad. but still pretty bad. I can't find the courage to say anything, because this has been beyond embarrassing. I've now learned that asking your friends how sex works is not a very fun experience, not at all. 

William must see that he's fighting a losing battle, so he says, "It's a lot better than it sounds okay? Just, talk to your boyfriend about it, have him go through it, because I clearly suck at explaining it. Speaking of," William said with a bright look in his eyes, "who is mystery man?" 

I completely freeze up. "Um... I don't... He wouldn't um..."   
Jon laughs harder than ever, before finally stopping. "Leave it, William. He can tell you when he wants to. Brendon, just don't let him force you into anything, okay? If he tries to, just tell me, and I'll beat him up." 

I laugh at that, and nod, feeling better. Mostly, it's the mental image of Jon and Ryan in a fight. Jon would win by a landside. 

Jon gets up from his chair and walks over to me, throwing an arm around my shoulders. "Since I sit here and let him put you through that traumatic experience, I'll take you out for ice cream. On me." 

I smile and let him lead me out to his car, William following behind. 

"I wasn't that bad," William muttered as we walked out. Jon laughed (hadn't he had enough of that already?) and I joined in. 

 

We went to the local Dairy Queen, and I ordered a regular ice cream cone dipped in chocolate. I tried to get one of those super sugary blizzards, but Jon vetoed that, reminding me of the popcorn fight that had resulted from the last time he let me have sugar. That was a pretty good day for me, though, looking back, because it was the first time Ryan and I kind of got along. 

Speaking of the devil, as soon as I thought that, Ryan walked into the place. Embarrassment from William's talk hit me, and I gasped a little and sunk down in my seat. 

William, being the observant jerk he was, noticed me staring at Ryan and said, "Hmm, I guess that answers my question." 

"Shut up," I said from my slumped down position. 

It wasn't even Ryan that noticed me, it was Pete, who was with him. Gabe was also there, and that made the whole situation worse than it would have been if it was just Spencer with Ryan. I didn't know how Ryan felt about being around me with Pete and Gabe around too. 

"Hey, Ryan!" Pete nudged Ryan's side. 'Look it's your English partner." 

Ryan's eyes looked in my direction way too fast and in too must interest for seeing his English partner. 

I prayed they wouldn't walk over here, which was just what they did. 

"Hey, there," William said in a flirty manner, mostly directed at Gabe. I had never noticed how big of a flirt William was. He didn't even know Gabe yet, and he was already flirting. He could be completely straight for all William knew! He obviously didn't care. 

Gabe just looked at him, smirking a little. Oh no, this wasn't good. 

"Hey, Ryan, how are you doing?" Jon asked, saving me from having to make conversation. 

"Good," Ryan said, and that was apparently all he planned on saying. He stared at me after he said it, and I felt uneasy. Why did I have to see him right after I had the concept of gay sex explained to me, why was I so unlucky? 

I could feel myself blush, just thinking about it, and I knew that didn't make this situation any better. 

William made the situation the worst, though, he definitely wins that title. "Well, since you guys seem to be friends, want to join us?" 

My heart sunk. In how many ways could Pete make my day bad in the time it took us to eat ice cream? 

Gabe agreed for all of them, and they went off to buy their stuff. 

"Why did you do that?" I whispered to William. 

"You'll thank me later. Yours is the thin, quiet one, right?" 

I nodded helplessly, and he smiled. "Good." 

William Beckett was an evil, scheming mastermind. He somehow mananged to get us sitting in a way where Ryan and I were squeezed next to each other, and he was sitting right across from Gabe. 

Since the booths were only meant to hold two people on either side, I was on the inside, with Ryan tight against my side. It felt better than I wanted to admit. 

William, between flirting with Gabe, seemed to get the whole table in a steady stream of conversation, so Pete never got the chance to say something mean to me. Jon helped, just by being his normal, friendly self. No one disliked Jon, I had a feeling it was impossible. 

I was too nervous and embarrassed to say very much. It didn't help that William kept winking at me periodically. 

At one point, Ryan slipped a napkin into my lap. It said 'I never got your number :('. 

When had he even written this? I only thought about that for a second before I was overwhelmed y how cute this was. He wanted my number! Somehow over the past week or so, I had turned into a teenage girl, and I couldn't really be worried by that. 

I looked at Ryan, trying to tell him I didn't have anything to write with without flat out saying it. That would definitely be suspicious. 

He must have figured it out, because he put a pen in my hand, under the table. Where had he gotten that? 

I did my best to write my number and still make it legible, without looking down, or writing on a flat surface. I guessed it was good enough, and gave both the napkin and pen back to Ryan. He smiled brightly. 

I tried not to smile to much, but it was hard because I was just so happy. 

Ryan grabbed my hand under the table, and I could help but to grin then. After that, I felt a whole lot less embarrassed, and I could actually join the conversation. 

Soon, all too soon, we had to leave. Ryan held the door open, and as I slid by him, he whispered to me, "I'll text you later." 

I gave a small nod and joined William and Jon in Jon's car. We drove about a block away before William said, "BRENDON! That boy is a keeper, man, he's adorable! Ad you two together, oh my god, you're perfect. I'm so glad I helped you guy on your road to a successful relationship, because really, you two need to be together. Now. And that friend of his, mmm, I wouldn't mind getting a piece of that." 

I hid my face. "William, you're too much." 

"I know," I heard him say, pleased of himself. 

After awhile, Jon said, "Well, if he ever does mess with you, I won't have to worry about beating him up. You could probably handle it yourself. never thought I'd say that." 

He thought for a second. "I never thought I'd worry about little Mormon Brendon's boyfriend. How the world has changed." 

I blushed. "He's not my boyfriend. Yet." 

William snorted, "If I have anything to do with it, he will be, and damn soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is like, two days earlier than expected. I was in the mood to write, and my friend wanted me to, so, this is what you get! Can I just say I loved William in this, he was so much fun to write, and Jon laughing and oh boy I love this. I hope you do too!


	10. That's Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer laughed and shook his head. "You're both children."

I got home three hours later than I should have, but luckily for me, both my parents were gone. Some how I managed to get out of getting in a crazy heap of trouble.

Since I felt bad for disobeying the rules, even if my parents didn't know I did, I spent some time cleaning up the house. I was in such a good mood that it didn't even bother me.   
Once I finished that I started working on my homework, which really didn't get very far, because I kept getting distracted by my own thoughts. Who wants to do homework anyways?

My parents finally came home, and my mom was so pleased at me for doing housework that I wasn't even asked to that she said she might let me off of my grounding.

I couldn't believe my luck. Not only did I blatantly not follow their rules, but I got a reward for it! I almost felt bad, but not enough to protest. I was grounded for a silly reason anyways.

 

That night, after I actually did some homework, I sat on my bed staring at the ceiling when I got a text message. It was from a number I didn't recognize, which meant it was probably from Ryan.

The message said, 'Hi :)'

It was definitely Ryan. 

'Hi!' I sent back. Then I waited a couple minutes in anticipation for the next message.

'So Spence and I are going to the movies on Friday. You want to come?'

I stared at the message. This could almost count as a... date. A date with Spencer and whoever else hanging around, but that worked for me! Ryan was inviting me out in public with him, like he didn't care if people saw us together. When he changed on something, he went all out apparently.

'Duh! As long as I'm allowed to get some candy,' I send back. I really like candy, and Jon has probably beaten it into their brains to not let me have candy. It really wasn't fair.

The next message read, 'As long as you share :)'

I'm not really a candy sharing person, but when it came to Ryan I'd probably let him eat it out of my mouth. Why doesn't that thought disgust me at all? Why do I like that idea way more than I should?

I was clearly messed up. Instead of saying any of that I said, 'Sure, I will! So it's a confirmed yes on the candy?'

He replied faster this time, 'Yes, dork. I'll see you tomorrow,bye'

I guess that was it for the night, 'Goodnight! :D'

Afterwords I saved his name on my phone, and I had to stop myself from adding smiley faces to it. I was so happy after that conversation, and we didn't even say much!

I was falling pretty hard for Ryan Ross, but I'd be silly not to. When he decides to stop hating you, things get a lot easier.

It took me hours to get to sleep, mostly because I couldn't stop smiling. I was such a nerd, really, I need to work on that.

 

The next morning as I'm packing my lunch, I make sure to throw an extra pack of gummies in it for Ryan.

As I'm walking into the school, someone comes up beside me and throws and arm around me, saying, "How's my favorite Brendon doing?"

It was William, of course. "Good! How are you doing?"

He smiled, "Very well. So, anything interesting happen last night?"

Did he have some sort of sense for when something happens between me and Ryan? How did he even do that?

"Um, yeah... We're going to the movies this weekend," I say quietly. 

William cheers, "Yes, I knew it, I told you, you guys will be dating in no time! I'm more talented than I even thought!"

I blush and brush it off, "We're going with friends, it's not a big deal."

He looked at me knowingly, "Sure, sure."

William was something else. How had I not really known him much until this year? I mean, even if I wasn't friends with him, you don't just miss someone like William, he sticks out in a crowd. I voiced this thought and William laughed.

"That's because I don't go here," he informed me.

I looked at him in disbelief. "Why are you hanging around here, then? Shouldn't you be at your own school?"

He shrugged. "I came at first to hang around with Walker. And then you entertain me. So I should be at my school, probably, but you guys are a lot more interesting."

I ran a hand through my hair. William really was something else. I at least knew I had never met anyone like him before.

The starting bell rang, signalling the beginning of the day. "Well, I've got to go to class now. You should probably try to make it to your own school."

William smiles and waves. "Whatever you say. Bye bye, Brendon, keep me updated on your boyfriend!"

That is not the kind of thing he should be saying right in front of my school! For one thing, I don't even have a boyfriend for sure, and if I did, I'm still not out!

Hm, I hadn't even thought about that. I guessed I'd have to come out eventually. That'd probably suck, but maybe the kids wouldn't even notice. I look around us to see if anyone noticed William's comment, and luckily they hadn't. Good, I wasn't ready to deal with that. 

That was most definitely the most exciting part of my morning. When the bell dismissing us to lunch rings, I get there alarmingly fast.

I hoped Ryan would sit with us today, but since I was so early, I beat my friends there, so our table was empty. I sat down and busied myself with looking through my lunch. 

I felt someone sit down beside me, and they were pressed closer than necessary. I look up to see Ryan smiling at me. 

He looks really good today, even better than normal. His hair falls perfectly in place, and I wanted to run my hands through it. It was probably really soft and perfect, because it sure looked like it. 

"Hi," I said, smiling back at him. "Oh, I brought you gummies, like I said I would!"

I pull them out and give them to him.

He chuckles as he looks at them. "Thanks, Bren."

I really liked him calling me Bren. 

Spencer came then, and he dropped on the bench across from us. He saw the gummies in Ryan's hand and joked, "You too? Oh no, are you both going to be constructing weird figures out of them?"

"Of course," I say, "Why else would we have them?"

Ryan wasn't quite as good as I was with building things out of gummies, he was more unsure of himself, but it was fun to watch him try.

At one point, Spencer said, "At least Brendon is able to do it."

Ryan's expression got serious, and I was afraid he might stop, and get tired of doing silly things with me.

"It's okay!" I said quickly. I leaned forward to whisper in his ear, "It's adorable to watch you try."

It was a bold mood from me, but at Ryan's pleased smile after that, I didn't regret it one bit.

Spencer laughed and shook his head. "You're both children."

"Yep," we agreed.

 

The rest of my classes are a lot more fun than my morning ones. English is just as much fun as it was yesterday, and Ryan and I even start planning our project. A little bit, at least. We'll get there eventually.

We were so distracted that we were late getting out of class. By the time I get to my locker, the hallway is practically empty. I take my time putting my books away and thinking about what I needed to bring home with me.

As I was distracted, someone pressed themselves against my back and held on to my hips. It was Ryan. "You're adorable, too, you know? Very, very adorable," he said right into my ear.

Since the hallway was clear of other students, I don't worry about doing this at all.

I tilt my head back a little bit, onto his shoulder.

"I used to spend entire class periods just wishing I could do this to you. But you were good little Mormon Brendon, and I was sure you'd never ever like me. That's mostly what bothered me," he continued, speaking softly, just for me to hear.

"Well, it's a good thing you worked up the courage, or anger, whatever it was, to kiss me, then, isn't it?" I say back.

He kisses me softly on the cheek, "Yes, a very good thing. Alright, I've gotta go, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye!" I say happily as he leaves. 

As I'm walking out of the school, I'm barely realize I'm humming some happy tune.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did this instead of doing my Algebra 2 homework, I think this was a very good decision. The next chapter is going to be fun. I love writing this, because it makes getting through school so much better. I can sit and daydream about what will happen, or just plan things out, so yeah, I just hope someone else is getting something out of this besides me!


	11. I'll Pull the Stars Down From the Heavens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The week passes fairly quickly, and soon enough it's Friday.

The week passes fairly quickly, and soon enough it's Friday. 

William's waiting outside in his now usual spot (seriously, he needs to actually go to school sometime) by the front doors in the morning.

"Brenny!" He called when he saw me. 

I sat beside him on the bench. "Hey."

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, "So, I'm going to need the name of that guy who was hanging out with Ryan the other day, the really tall, deadly hot one."

"Gabe?" I ask, even though I knew that was exactly who he was talking about. He had spent the whole time flirting with him, so I had an idea what he was thinking.

"Good, good, continue," William said, typing something into his phone

"He's Gabriel Saporta. That's all you're going to get out of me, though, I don't know much about him," I give in. William's fling with the boy who he cheated on his girlfriend with  
didn't last long, the guy had three other relationships going on at the same time. I wasn't surprised, and apparently William wasn't either, because he moved on pretty fast.

"Fantastic! Alright, now are you ready for tonight?" He changes the topic quickly.

"But why did you ask-"

"Brendon! I asked if you're ready for tonight! Your date!" William persisted.

He was finished talking about Gabe, evidently, so we were moving on.

"I'm a little nervous, but very excited," I admitted.

He smiled, and looked at me brightly. "You know what? I should totally come over to your house beforehand and help you get ready! I can do your hair, and help you pick out clothes, and you don't even get a choice on this, it's happening. What time do you want me at your house?" William rambled excitedly.

I eyed his skin tight jeans and t shirt that just barely reached the top of his jeans, and his long hair. Would it really be advisable for me to take advice from him? But he did wear all of it in a way that looked amazing on him, so he'd probably be a lot of help.

"The movie's at seven, so maybe 6:30?" 

"Great, I'll be there at six! Where is your house anyways?" 

I laughed and gave him my address, and he hopped away him joking, "Gotta go now, don't want to miss any school!"

 

Ryan sat with Spencer and I at lunch like he had all week, and I was still amazed that he was there. Pete hasn't given any of us problems for that, and besides a few curious looks, neither has anyone else.

This week has been too awesome for me to believe because things this great just don't happen to me. 

It was always fun to hang out with Ryan and Spencer, because you could tell they had a really sincere friendship, they were just beyond close. They were the kind of people who would be in the nursing home together, bickering about medicine and and wheelchairs. Maybe I would be there with them, if I was lucky.

Ryan also had developed this habit of touching me lightly whenever I was near. I didn't mind, it drove me crazy, but in a good way. I still got freaked out whenever he put his hand on my knee, because for some reason I could never see that coming. He never went as far as to hold my hand or put his arm around me, but I was happy with what I had.

 

English had also been going a lot better than last week. Ryan and I actually got a little bit of work done. We were still way behind where we were supposed to be, and the fact that we would get distracted a lot, but I figured we'd get it done. Ryan and I worked well together, when we weren't fighting or ignoring each other.

Soon enough, school was over and I was at my house.

I decided to take another shower, because it wouldn't hurt to smell as good as I could,a and I didn't want any leftover scents from the cafeteria lingering around. 

William showed up exactly when he said he was going to, already babbling excitedly. Sometimes I thought that he might actually be more excited for this than I was. I was still really excited, I was just also super nervous, and it was getting worse as it got sooner. Ryan and I haven't even really kissed since his house last weekend, we've just had small pecks on the cheek whenever anyone wasn't around. Were we going to make out during the movie like stereotypical teenagers? I had never done that before, it might be fun. But I couldn't make the first mood, because what if he really wanted to watch the movie? I couldn't ruin the movie for him, if it was one he really wanted to see.

I thought about asking William, but I have a feeling he would tell me to do a lot more than kissing at the movie, and I certainly wasn't going to try that. 

William did do an outstanding job of finding stuff for me to wear. Not surprisingly, he found the tightest pair of jeans I had and forced me to wear them, but with then he just chose a plain shirt, that was only a little tight, for me to wear. The outfit worked really well together, and he styled my hair too look better than I even knew it could look. 

"You must be magical, or something," I told William as I looked in the mirror. I looked good. 

"I definitely am. Now it's almost time for you to go! Give the hell!" William encouraged me.

"I'll try," I promised. "See you."

Ten anxious minutes after that, Ryan pulled into my drive way. I was fast to get out of the house and in the backseat.

"Hey, Brendon," Spencer said from the passenger seat.

"Hello, good sir!" I replied. Ryan laughed and met my eyes in the mirror. I saw he was wearing some eyeliner, and it made his eyes look even better than they did normally, how was  
that even possible?

Spencer and Ryan spend the ride over arguing about what to listen to, and they still haven't reached a compromise by the time we reached the theater, so we didn't get to listen to anything at all.

We got into the line to buy tickets, and Ryan slid up right beside me.

"You look really good right now," he whispered, quiet enough for my ears to be the only ones to hear it. It made me feel so much better about having William come over, he had done his job well.

"You do too. I like the eye stuff. My mom would throw a fit if I tried that," I said, not even thinking. I regretted it instantly, because now was not the time to bring up my mother.

Ryan apparently didn't care, because he laughed. "I could do it for you later if you want. You could break some rules."

"I was only allowed to come tonight because I got off being grounded, I don't think right now is a good time to break any more rules," I say as we reach the end of the line. I let  
Ryan buy his ticket first, because I still didn't know what movie we were seeing.

"Two for Sam's Dream," he said. Wait. Two? I looked at Spencer, thinking Ryan was buying the ticket for him, but he was getting his own money out. 

"Wait, two?" I asked.

Ryan looked back at me, "Yeah, one for you, dork."

So this really was a date? I got even more nervous and more excited at the same time.

Spencer bought his ticket, and we went into the man area, where we found Jon. That makes more sense now, so that Spencer isn't just a third wheel. Or I wasn't a third wheel. With 

Ryan and Spencer, it was hard to tell who was getting left out.

I didn't think it over long, because I had more important matters to get to. Like candy.

"Ryan, I can still get candy right? You're not going to let mean, old Jon stop me, will you?" 

He smiled, "Go for it."

I hurried into the line before anyone could get in front of me. "Do you want me to get you anything, since you bought my ticket?" I have the mind to remember my manners. I wasn't sure exactly what date etiquette was, but this seemed fair enough.

"Just a drink would be good," he said. I bought my candy and Ryan's drink. I made sure to take a sip of his drink before handing it to him. He just laughs and nudges my arm.  
Spencer and Jon buy their candy and catch up to us.

We're early to the theater like we were the last time we were here, except this time there was no William for me to steal his popcorn. It made me realize how similar and yet at the same time how different this was than last time. We all knew each other a lot better now, and were a lot closer (Ryan was my date instead of my enemy this time). Also, it made me kind of miss William.

"Hey, Jon," I say, leaning over Ryan to talk to Jon. "Can I have some popcorn?"

He let's me take a handful, and I wait until the three of them are fully into a conversation before throwing a piece softly at Ryan's face. i'm careful not to hit his eye this time, though, no need to cause Popcorn War 2.

He mock glared at me and said, "Now you're just asking for it, Urie."

He grabbed my hands, trying to make me drop all of the popcorn I had. I help on tight, giggling. "Nope, you're not going to win!"

"Aw, you guys are such a cute couple!" A familiar voice breaks up our play fight. It was no other than William Beckett. We all got silent, because no one ever really talked about  
what Ryan and I were. There was a tense moment. I noticed that William also had Gabe right behind him, which made this situation so much worse. Gabe was Ryan's friend, but he was part of the group that would make fun of us for being gay. Ryan also didn't want the majority of the school to know what we had going on, I was guessing, so this would more than likely make our entire date suck.

The tense moment was broken by Ryan saying, "We're certainly cuter than you."

I laughed, so relieved that nothing bad happened, and surging with happiness because Ryan didn't deny we were a couple.

Gabe didn't seem bothered by this, and he and William sat in front of us. Maybe Gabe was cooler than I originally thought.

I knew William showing up here was no accident. He probably had some sort of plan too.

I didn't get the chance to ask him, because the movie previews started.

The movie was okay, but nothing special. Ryan seemed into it, though, so I guessed we weren't going to pull the make out thing. I tried not to be disappointed. My phone buzzed  
about a half an hour in, and I checked it where the light wouldn't bother anyone.

It was a text from William that read, 'i sense a lack of kissing going on up there. get to it.'

I sent back 'No, he seems into the movie.'

I hear a irritated puff of air from in front of me, which was no doubt William reading my message. 

Ten minutes later, I see William pull Gabe's head to him, and believe it or not, they start making out like pros. William didn't even know Gabe's name this morning! Also, I thought for sure Gabe was straight! Of course, I thought the same about myself until a couple weeks ago, so I was clearly no good judge.

He was obviously trying to hint me into doing it myself, but I wasn't going to take the bait. Ryan, though, apparently did, because he said, "If this upsets you, I'm sorry, but this movie sucks," and met my lips with his. 

The crappy movie and our friends around us were soon forgotten, replaced with Ryan's lips and his hand in my hair. At some point, he slipped his tongue into my mouth, and he tasted like the candy he had stolen from me. It was glorious.

The movie ended to soon, and Ryan and I parted for longer than just a shaky breath.

As we were leaving the movie, William winked at me, and I got the impression that was his exact reason for showing up tonight. I would have to talk to him soon.

Outside, Spencer said, "Jon's going to take me home, so I'll see you guys later."

We said our goodbyes, and then got into Ryan's car. He didn't start the engine right away, he just looked at me.

"So, I don't know if you've figured it out yet or not, but I really like you. I know the situation isn't perfect because of school and stuff, but we could at least tell our friends and stuff, yeah? So will you be my boyfriend?" Ryan asked me, the last part slow and quiet, like he was nervous.

"As if I could say no!" I declared. 

Ryan looked me right in the eyes and grinned. "That's what I was hoping for."

I pulled him in for a kiss this time, and when we finally parted so he could drive me home, the whole way there I threw a party mentally, because I just went on a date. With my BOYFRIEND.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This actually took a pretty long time. I hope you like it! Expect chapter 12 on Thursday, yay!!!


	12. Details, Details, Details

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'd been home for no longer than ten minutes when I got a call from William.

I'd been home for no longer than ten minutes when I got a call from William.

"Hello," I answered, getting up to close my door so my parents wouldn't over hear anything. Who knows what William would start talking about, and whatever it was, it was probably the best for everyone that my parents didn't hear.

"It was such a good thing that I came tonight, damn, you weren't getting anywhere!" William said immediately. He would probably credit himself for getting Ryan and I together for the rest of his life, he'd never let it go.

"I was getting somewhere! I just didn't want to ruin the movie by kissing him," I defended myself.

William laughed, "Dude, that probably made the movie twenty times better for him. He probably picked that movie just because it sucked and he wanted time to make out with you. You're so innocent, Brendon, it's adorable."

"Yeah, shut up," I said, slightly embarrassed. "Hey, you were there with Gabe! How'd you even do that, he didn't know your name until today!"

"I have the William Beckett charm, it's not hard. Besides, he was more than happy to go out, and he's a great kisser. I think we should double up more often."

"But we weren't even there together, Bill, remember? You invited yourself and Gabe," I reminded him.

"Ah, nothing but details!" 

"You're ridiculous," I pointed out. "But you being there was helpful, thank you."

"I knew I'd get it out of you! Now that you're being nice, I suppose I should tell you that you and Ryan are going on a double date with Gabe and I tomorrow," William declared, like I had no choice. I probably didn't.

"Alright. Gabe won't make things awkward for Ryan, though, will he?" I ask, worried. I didn't want to put Ryan in an awkward situation.

"They're friends, man, it's not awkward," William argued. "Anyways, you two are going, Gabe's filling Ryan in as we speak. Now it's time for you to give me all the details from tonight, come on! I've been so patient."

I laugh because William was anything but patient, but I told him anyways. "And when we were in his car, he asked me to be his boyfriend, officially and all. So as of this moment I'm dating Ryan Ross."

William squealed over the line, obviously pleased. "Oh, yay! It took you two long enough! That reminds me, I'll need to have a talk with that boy."

"A talk about what?" I asked nervously. What could WIlliam possibly have to say to Ryan?

"Oh, nothing!" William insisted, and it was then I realized he was keeping something from me.

All the begging in the world couldn't get him to tell me, though, and after a few minutes he said goodbye and hung up. 

Hopefully it wasn't that bad. Hopefully he wouldn't scare Ryan away. I was hoping for a lot of things.

I didn't get a chance to think that over for very long because I was so tired, and seep was hard to put off.

I had dreams about eyeliner and a smell that was very familiar to me, but I couldn't place.

 

When I woke up the next morning, the first thing I saw was Jon Walker. 

"What?" I asked groggily, to tired to think straight.

"It was nice of you to tell me you were dating Ryan!" Jon said, and my brain scrambled to catch up. "After that after noon with William I knew something was going on, but I never knew you guys were officially together! You have to keep me updated on these things, man!"

At that point I understood most of what he was saying. "But it just happened last night. I didn't really have a chance to tell you," I said, finally sitting up in my bed.

Jon looked confused. "Oh, it did? But you guys seemed so close last night, I thought the couple part was old news. And Spencer knew!"

I thought for a little. "Spencer is Ryan's best friend ever, he knows more about him than anyone else, Ryan was probably telling him stuff. Or he just noticed it himself. Ryan does sit with lunch everyday, I guess it's not hard to see."

Jon thought that over for a little bit. "But you guys aren't out at school, right?"

I laughed, "Of course not, do you think we want to get beaten up? Ryan has a reputation anyways, he can't have all his friends turning on him. It's already too much that he hangs out with us. He doesn't seem to think much of it, but I know he does."

"Oh," Jon said, rubbing his head. "But that sounds so hard, doesn't it bother you?"

I shrug. "We just started officially dating, it's no big deal, yet. I suppose after awhile it might seem a little hard, but I can deal with it. It's just good that Ryan's happy and i'm happy, you know?"

Jon shakes his head. "No I don't. I'm glad I'm straight, man, no offense, but this whole closet situation would be way too much for me to handle."

I nod. "So is that the only reason you came here?"

He smiles, "Yeah, a little bit. But we could go get breakfast or something if you want."

At the word breakfast I'm out of my bed and scrounging around to find some clean clothes.

"You're far too kind to me," I tell Jon. He knows I love breakfast more than anything.That might change soon, though. Depends on what happens with a Mr. Ryan Ross.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this chapter is so short and crappy, aw, I feel so bad. I'm just tired and we had to go in town and everything today and you guys probably don't care, but yeah. If I say I'll work EXTRA hard on this next chapter and it'll be nice and ling and wonderful and Ryan will actually be in it, will that make up for this? (I really hope so) I'll post the AMAZING chapter on Saturday! (Now I'm afraid I might get your hopes up too high, whoops. I'll try really hard.)


	13. I Don't Think These Feelings Are Gonna Leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm going to get a huge stack of pancakes," I declare, before seeing a picture of eggs and sausage on the next page of the menu. "Oh, wait, no, maybe I'll get that instead. Or that maybe."

"I'm going to get a huge stack of pancakes," I declare, before seeing a picture of eggs and sausage on the next page of the menu. "Oh, wait, no, maybe I'll get that instead. Or that maybe." 

I loved getting breakfast more than anything else, but choosing what I wanted was a very difficult feat for me. Jon knew as much by now, because it had been about a year ago when he had discovered my love for breakfast. It was now what he used as an apology or incentive for me to do something for him. Today's was for an apology for this morning, and I had no problem accepting it. 

"Have you decided what you want?" The pleasant waitress asked. I flipped through the menu, trying to decide quickly. 

Jon spared me some time by ordering his first. 

"How about you?" The waitress directed at me. 

"Um, well," I began, still not fully decided. 

She smiled at me and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Take all the time you need, honey." 

I looked again, finally deciding that I'd have pancakes and bacon. 

"That's a great choice, I'll make sure they're extra goo, just for you," She said, taking the menus and smiling. I smiled back politely. 

As soon as she was out of hearing distance, Jon smacked my arm and said, "Dude, she is so totally barking up the wrong tree!" 

"What?" I asked, not getting what he was talking about. 

"The waitress!" Jon exclaimed like it was obvious. I just raised in questioning. "Did you not see how much she was flirting with you? She thinks you're hot. And you're gay. This is hilarious." 

"She was flirting with me? Oh, I didn't even notice," I said. I knew what flirting was, I wasn't totally clueless, I just didn't pay enough attention, or something. 

Jon smiled. "You sure have it bad for Ross, don't you?" 

Even though I should probably defend myself, Jon was spot on. "Yes. You don't even get it, though, Ryan is so amazing, and he's hilarious, and-" 

"I have never seen you so interested in someone. I guess it makes sense now why you've never been very interested in girls. Have you always known you were gay? You could've told me, you know, I don't have a problem with it." Jon assured me. 

"Um, no, I didn't, um, always know. It was very, um, recent. That's nice to know," I stuttered out. Talking about my sexuality was not something I was well practiced at. And it was just plain awkward. 

I was saved by the food coming. The waitress, whose name I did not remember, set Jon's food down normally, but when she was giving me my food, she managed to bend in a way that exposed her cleavage to the maximum effect. My eyes widened in disbelief. Was this really happening? Apparently I wasn't saved, I just moved on to a different form of embarrassment. 

"How is your boyfriend doing, anyways?" Jon, my new savior, made a point of asking. He probably noticed how vaguely terrified I was. 

"Um, yeah, he's great. Just dandy." I say quickly. The waitress looks between us with a confused look, before realization sets in. After spending a few more moments to stare at us, she hurries away. 

Jon laughs loudly. I swat at his arm. "Don't be mean, we probably just broke her heart." 

"But, dude, she was so surprised, and oh my god, that was hilarious. She was practically shoving her boobs in your face, and then it turns out you're gay!" He says, still laughing. I smile a little too, because even though I felt bad, it was still pretty funny. 

The waitress doesn't come back, suddenly replaced by another, older lady. Jon chuckles quietly at that too. 

In his car on the way to my house, Jon says, "You'll have to tell Ryan we fought off the forces of a flirty waitress today. He'd probably be pleased." 

The image of that made me smile, because Ryan probably would be happy. It also reminded me that I would get to see him again soon. Sure, they last time I had seen him had been last night, but I didn't think I could get too much Ryan yet, it didn't seem possible. 

Jon drops me off, and I spend hours attempting to do my homework. Eventually I looked up to see it was close to the time when Ryan was supposed to pick me up, thank god. 

I got dressed in clothes that I though William would approve of, since he wasn't here to help me get ready on this date. I probably couldn't do this for every date Ryan and I would go on, but I figured it help to look extra good at the start of things. 

Once I was ready, I went downstairs and told my mom I was leaving. 

"Who are you going with, sweetie?" My ever curious mom asked. 

"Ryan and William," I said, trying my very best to sound normal. I was just going to hang out with friends, not anything weird like on a date, with a boy, and definitely hanging out with two other boys, who were on a date with each other. In my mother's eyes, that'd be worse than going on a date with the devil. Homosexuality was deeply frowned upon in my parent's eyes, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to hide my relationship for long. I'd have to though, because if they knew, I certainly wouldn't be allowed to be in it. 

"Okay, have fun, honey," She said, believing everything. It's not like I had to flat out lie to her, I just couldn't tell her the details. 

I waited outside for Ryan, so my mom wouldn't get the chance to ask anymore questions. When he pulled in, I was already walking towards the driveway, and I was in the passenger side as fast as I could be. 

Ryan looked great, of course, but his hair didn't have much product in it at all, it just fell into his face softly, still straightened, but unbelievably hot. I gave him a quick peck on the cheek because I knew my mother couldn't see us from inside the house. 

"Why are you in such a hurry, dork?' Ryan said with a smile. 

"My mother was asking questions, and I didn't want to have to lie to her," I informed him. "They're all seriously Mormon. You probably already knew that though. I'm not. I'm not sure if you knew that." 

He shook his head, "I didn't know that. I like learning more about you. You're interesting. Like when you told me you broke that one kid's nose. You're a force to be reckoned with." 

I laugh, "You seriously remember that? I'm surprised." 

"I remember as much as I can about you, Bren." Ryan said with a wink. I could feel myself blush. 

Ryan looked at me as we came to a stop at a light, "You're so adorable." 

I just blush harder and smile. I might be adorable, but Ryan is dead sexy. I surprise myself by thinking that, but not by much, because it's completely true. 

 

We end up at the local mall, which is apparently where we're having the date. As soon as we enter the mall, I hear a "Brenny!" and I know we came to the right place. 

William is currently curled tucked into Gabe's side in a way that I think only William could be. I would have never guessed they'd work together, but apparently they do. They had only known each other for two days, and I wasn't even sure if they were dating or what, but they seemed to work. It turns out I didn't know as much about Gabe as I thought I had. 

"Come on, all the stores are beckoning me!" William said, grabbing my hand and Gabe's and pulling us along. 

The first store we go to is a music store, and in there we split off. After about ten minutes Ryan wonders over to the section I'm in. 

"We still have a lot of work to do on our project, you know," he tells me. 

"I know," I agree. We are such slackers, it's terrible. 

"We could just choose a couple random albums and write our paper on our different views of them," he suggests. 

I look up at him, "Oh my god, Ryan, you're a genius! That's such a good idea!" 

"I'm glad you thought so, I was really just bullshitting." 

We grab a couple CDs and buy them, making sure they're from different genres. 

A few stores later, we're in some ridiculous clothing store that William made us go in. 

"Brenny!" he calls out as he shoves a pain of jeans at me. "Try these on!" 

The pants are about two sizes too small and putting them on makes me feel like I'm getting shoves into a jar. 

"Do I have to?" I call once I'm in them. They don't look that bad, but I'm so uncomfortable in them. "And, oh, and the have sequins! William, I have no use for pants with sequins!" 

"I don't care, show us!" He orders. 

I look myself over one last time before heading out. The pants are so tight and thin you can literally see everything. It's a good thing I'm not hard, because it would be more than obvious in these pants, and that would just be an embarrassment. 

I open the door to the dressing room stall slowly. William, Gabe, and Ryan stare at me, before they start laughing. 

I frown even more at that. They're the ones that made me put them on, it's not my fault they look awful. 

Ryan sees me frowning and comes to hug, saying, "Oh, no, Bren, don't be sad, we were just laughing because you don't look like yourself at all. You also kind of look like we killed your puppy." 

"No you weren't," I disagreed, "You were laughing because I looked so bad." 

Ryan pulls me even tighter and rubs my back. "No, not that at all," he turns his head so his mouth is right against my ear, and talks softly. "You actually look really great, to be in such ridiculous jeans. Really, your ass is beyond hot." 

His words surprise me, and I hurry back into the stall and into my own pants before there's a problem. Those words burned at my stomach, and just the thought of then coming from Ryan made it all worse. At least in my pants, if anything of that nature happened, it wouldn't be quite so obvious. 

When I come out of the stall, William and Gabe have collected themselves, and they have moved on to look at sunglasses. Ryan just smiles at me like he knows all my secrets. 

He might not now, but if he hung around long enough, he certainly would find them all out. 

 

We run out of stores we want to go to, so we go to a pizza place for dinner. 

The whole thing is going pretty well, I'm even getting to know Gabe a little bit (he likes snakes a lot, and he's actually pretty cool), until a few guys sitting at a table near us start whispering about something. I was the only one who seemed to notice that, but we all noticed when all of them got up and walked to the door, one of them saying, "Fucking fags," harshly as he walked by our table. 

Gabe stopped mid story, turning from a happy, pleasant guy to ready for a fight. 

"What'd you say?" He said, his light Spanish accent becoming thicker. He stood to his full height, and I remembered why I was afraid of him. He could actually be pretty scary, if he wanted to. 

The boys looked at each other fearfully, they clearly weren't expecting Gabe to say anything. 

They ran off when Gabe started to walk over to them, and he laughed. "I was just throwing my napkin away," he said, back to normal. 

If I didn't like him by that point, I was certainly won over now. William's boyfriend (or whatever he was) was great. 

Once we finish eating, Ryan invites us all over to his house to play video games, because his dad was gone. 

After William and I get beat at nearly every game we play, William quits and starts kissing Gabe's neck, head, hair, whatever he could reach, until Gabe quits too. 

They get into a full on make out session, right in front of Ryan and I. We try our best to ignore it and go back to the game, but then I start hearing random little sounds. 

After a few minutes, I can't handle it anymore, and I just start laughing. William is making out with Gabe right in front og me, and he doesn't even care. 

"We should probably go," William says, pulling away from Gabe for a second. "I'll see you guys later, bye!" 

They leave, presumably to go make out somewhere else. Ryan beats me yet again on a game. 

"Can we stop now?" I ask. "I feel like my ego needs to rest before it gets smashed again." 

Ryan laughs and says, "Okay, if you want." 

"Do you want me to have my mom come get me?" I ask, because it'd be rude to have him take me home if he's already at his house. 

"No!" he says immediately. "I mean, you could stay here, if you want? My dad's not going to be coming home, he's probably passed out somewhere." 

He says it so nonchalantly, it sounds like he's used to it happening all the time. "Okay, yeah, I'll stay. Just let me tell my mom." 

I go into the kitchen to call her, not wanting to fight with my mom in front of Ryan. And I was sure we would fight, she'd be so mad. 

"Hello, Brendon?" she answered. 

"Yes, Mom. I was calling to ask if it's okay if I stay at Ryan's tonight. We have our project for English due soon, and all, so it'd be great to actually have extra time to work on it," I flat out lie to my mother. 

She hesitates, and I know she's usually never let e stay over with this little of a warning, but the project excuse was a good one. "Okay, you can. Does he have clothes for you to borrow, a toothbrush, all of that stuff? Is it okay with his parents?" 

"Yes, yes, he's got that, don't worry. And I'm not completely a child, Mom, I do understand dental health. Okay, I've got to go, love you, I'll see you in the morning," I say before she can ask me any more questions. If I waited too long she'd probably ask for a full back ground check on Ryan. 

Ryan is leaning in the doorway in the kitchen when I hang up. "So we're working on the project, huh?" 

I laugh and walk over to him, putting my arms around his middle. "I had to say something, or she would've said no. She started freaking out about me not having a toothbrush with me, okay, she's strange." 

"Whatever works," he says, kissing me once, softly. It's the first time we've kissed so far tonight, and I already want more. "We do have extra toothbrushes, your mother doesn't have to worry." 

"Oh, thank the lord," I say with fake relief. I reach up to kiss him again, and soon we're making out in his kitchen. This whole thing is so much better than I could've ever imagined. 

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Ryan asks after pulling away. We can go upstairs, I've got a TV and lots of movies." 

"Yeah!" I said, enthusiastically, already pulling Ryan upstairs. I remembered where his bedroom was from the last, and first, time I was here. He points me in the direction of a huge stack of movies. "Pick whatever you want." 

As I'm looking, I remember what happened earlier. "Oh, hey, so do you want to hear a story? This morning, Jon and I went to get breakfast, and the waitress, she was flirting with me so much. I didn't even notice, at first, Jon had to point it out, but then she practically shoved her chest in my face, it was horrifying! Jon, though, he was smart, and he asked me how my boyfriend was doing. She was out of there fast." 

I find a movie I like and I put it in the DVD player, and then turned to look at Ryan. He looked a little mad. 

"What's wrong?" I ask, missing something. 

"I don't like how she was flirting with you. I don't like thinking about that." He said, obviously sad. 

I crawl up on his bed with him, feeling awkward at first, but then I got over it and tugged him towards me. "Don't worry," I said, into his hair, mostly, since he was laying his head on my shoulder. His hair smelled really good. "You're the only one I want to flirt with me." 

"Really?" He said, looking up at me. I smiled, and nodded, and before I even know it, we're making out. 

Somehow, we end up horizontal, with Ryan laying on top of me, our bodies completely pressed together. One of my hands is running through his hair, which is exactly as soft as I thought it would be, when he sighs. 

"Hey, wait a second," Ryan says, pulling back slightly, and rolling over so he was laying on my side. "William was talking to me last night, and we should probably talk." 

What did William tell him? I had completely forget about that, but it made me instantly nervous. Did he tell him something that would make him not like me? "Okay?" I said. 

"This will probably be really awkward, but I've heard it's better to get it done with and all at the beginning and all, so I'm just going to go for it. I am totally okay with not having sex yet, or anytime soon, really. William said you were the super virgin, which kind of sounds mean, but it's William, and that you'd never had any sexual experience, which I already knew, since you told me you had never been kissed and all. But he also said that you really didn't know much about sex and stuff, and god this is awkward, and he tried to explain it himself, but he did a bad job. So, basically, any question you have about anything, you can um, ask me those, alright, don't be afraid. I don't care if it's now, or during when we do stuff, if you're confused about anything, just ask, okay?" 

Ryan finishes him speech, and I kind of want to die from embarrassment. William, of course he would feel the need to tell Ryan. I was grateful Ryan was being so cool about it all though. I kissed him, once, then said, "Thank you." 

He smiled and nodded. "Do you want to watch the movie now? We kind of missed a lot of it." 

I had picked Shrek. "Don't judge," I told Ryan. "Shrek is amazing." 

"I totally agree, don't worry. I'm just not surprised at all that you chose this, I can see it being a Brendon movie." 

Ryan get's up to find clothes to change into. "Do you want something to sleep in?" he asks. 

"Something not jeans would be cool." I say. He tosses me a pair of sleep pants, and they smell like him, it's wonderful. 

He starts to move to the bathroom to change, but I raise an eyebrow to him. "Just because we're not going to have sex right now doesn't mean I can't get a sneak preview." 

He laughs and says, "Brendon, you're such a dork," in a voice that implies that being a dork isn't a bad thing at all. 

I might, kind of, totally stare at him as he changes (and I possibly drool a little, but let's just look past that), but it's the most I have seen of Ryan yet, I'd be silly for not enjoying it. 

I quickly take off my jeans and put on his pants, not giving his as much to see. Then I go brush my teeth (my mom would be so happy), and when we're both finally done, we start the movie from the beginning again. 

Ryan crawls under his covers and pulls them up in an invitation. I crawly in beside him, and he pulls me against him, putting an arm around me. 

We stay quiet, watching the movie. I laugh at the same points I always do, and I can feel Ryan laugh too. 

At one point, right before I fall asleep, I tell Ryan, "I'd totally turn into an ogre for you." 

He laughed and said, "I'd like you even if you were the wrong species." 

I fell asleep after that, with Ryan right beside me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a little late, i've been working on it for hours, I promise! I also promised a long chapter, so here you go! I think this is more than likely the longest chapter yet. I'm not sure if it's any good, that's up to you. I'm sorry I added the Shrek in, if you don't like it or anything, but i just love it so much I wouldn't help myself. I hope you like this!!


	14. What If the Critics Hate You?

The next morning, I wake up to the unfamiliar feeling of Ryan sleeping beside me. Last night keeps playing in my mind and I smile.

Ryan doesn't seem to be waking up anytime soon, so I head to the bathroom. When I come back, not quite sure what to do next, Ryan is sitting up in his bed looking around, obviously confused. When he seems me, the confusion leaves his face.

"Good morning," I greet him.

He smiles, "Good morning. I was worried when you weren't here, I thought you had left or something. I'm glad you didn't."

I sit beside him on his bed, and give him a kiss on the cheek. "I wouldn't do that, silly. I like you too much."

"Yeah, whatever you say, dork," Ryan jokes. "What do you want to do today?"

What I really wanted to do was just lie in bed with him all day, but that option wasn't really productive, at all.

"We could work on homework," I suggest with a grimace. It was Sunday, though, and I knew we both had a lot do tomorrow. "If we work together, we might get through it faster.

Ryan sighs, but agrees with me.

We spend the next couple of hours working on homework in the public library.

"Ryan," I whine, throwing down my pencil. "I've had enough of this, I simply cannot go on, it might kill me."

"That's a shame. I promise to come to your funeral," Ryan deadpans, still writing.

"Ryan," I whine again. "If you won't take me, I'll just have Jon do it! Or William! They would, because they both love me."

Ryan shrugs, looking unaffected.

"I'll pay if we go out for food," I finally offer.

Ryan closes his books immediately and smiles, "Deal."

 

"I should have guessed," Ryan says as I tell him to pull into the McDonald's parking lot.

"Ah, don't worry! I'll even let order something that's not on the dollar menu! How cool am I?" I say, smiling.

"Severely. I absolutely cannot handle how cool you are. How do you even function," Ryan says in a flat voice. 

I ignore him and start thinking of possibilities. "You'll let me have ice cream, won't you? I won't get too hyper, I promise. really, anything that Jon has told you is an exaggeration, he's just trying to make me look bad."

Ryan says, "Get whatever you want, you're buying."

I hop excitedly as we wait in line. Ryan doesn't seem to mind, he just smiles fondly at me. I like how he doesn't seem to mind when I get a little too hyper, he just seems amused by it. I also like seeing him happy, so I really think this entire situation is a win-win one. 

After we get our food, we sit down at a table made just for two people. "Look, Ryan, it's like, made just for us, how cool!"

Ryan just laughs and eats his food.

When I get to my ice cream, I offer Ryan some. He declines at first.

"Come on," I urge him. "I know you want some!"

He gives in and licks a little bit of it. That, um, well, that's the hottest I've ever thought someone eating an ice cream cone is. 

Ryan notices me staring at him and smiles before doing it again.

"I'll have to remember that, then," I say.

Ryan gives my ice cream back to me, "You're such a dork."

"But you love it!" I say in a sing song voice. Ryan doesn't disagree.

Afterwards, we make out in his car a little bit before he takes me home. If I had to say so, I'd say my kissing abilities have gotten much better with the practice. I'm pretty sure Ryan would second me on that thought.

When I get home, my mother doesn't seem suspicious at all. She has no idea that Ryan is my boyfriend, she's not even worried about that. I would probably have to keep it that way.

 

The next morning, William's waiting outside of the school, as usual, but this time Gabe is with him. I still don't know if they're dating, or what, I'll have to ask William about that later.

"Hey, guys," I greet them. They nod and say hello before they start making out again. They clearly have no issues about everyone knowing they're not straight. Well, William doesn't really have to worry because he doesn't even go to our school, but I'm pretty sure he's open about his sexuality everywhere, he doesn't care what people think. And Gabe, he doesn't have to worry about people giving him crap, because he was Gabe, and if anyone gave him problems, he could certainly handle it on his own.

I was jealous that they were able to be like how they were. I wished I could get a bit more courage, but I was pretty much the Cowardly Lion. Except I wasn't even quite that cool, because he at least found a way to get over it. Maybe I needed to take a lesson from him.

Those thoughts disappeared immediately when I was approached by Pete Wentz.

Nothing good was going to come out of this.

"Oh, look at that, Little Brendon. I've been meaning to talk to you. Now, you seem to be hanging out with more and more of my friends lately. At first I let it slide, because, really, you're no concern to me, but then you just kept persisting. Now it's gone to far. So stop, okay? If you don't do it, I'm sure I can find a way to make your new friends hate you. Do you want to risk it?" Pete threatened me. In one go, he managed to make me feel like nothing and threaten to ruin my life. This was why I didn't like him, at all. he was so mean and self centered.

I didn't know what to say, because I would never try and cut my ties with Ryan, I was dating him. Pete obviously didn't know that, but I'm sure if he did he'd find a way to use it against me. Not that it'd be that hard. 

I decided to just ignore him and go on to my first period class. Throughout the entire class, I couldn't concentrate, my mind was too worried about what Pete would do. 

I had thought everything was starting to fall into place, especially after my wonderful weekend, but now I was beginning to doubt if they had fell into the right place.

If Ryan was forced to choose between Pete and I, I'm not sure if he'd choose me. He had hated me before, how hard would it be for him to go back to that? And Pete, he had been one of Ryan's closest friends for awhile. I was very afraid that if he had to make a choice, it wouldn't be me, especially not after whatever Pete does to try to make me look bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long and stuff, but I have been kind of busy. And I didn't want to write a crappy chapter. I hope this one was okay, and I hope everyone likes it.


	15. Like a House of Cards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The more I thought about it, and the more attention I paid to Pete that day, the more I learned about him.

The more I thought about it, and the more attention I paid to Pete that day, the more I learned about him. I don't think he was threatening me just to ruin my life, or to make me feel bad, I believe he just did what he thought was necessary to keep his friends. It turns out Pete didn't have many. He had his little pack, but other than that, he had nothing. If they left him he would probably be all alone.

I felt for him, because friends are actually really, really important, I knew that now. Before the past couple of weeks, I had few friends, none of them very close to me. Pete's in the same situation, except for him his friends are extremely close. If he lost them, well, then he'd be even worse off than I was.

So I saw what he was coming from, but he wasn't handling his situation properly. I thought maybe I would be able to convince him that scaring off all of his friends' friends wasn't the way to go. Maybe it'd be better for everyone if he tried to be friends with us, too. 

I didn't know how I was going to show this to Pete, but I know I had to do it soon before he did something to mess up my relationship. I wasn't sure how well common sense would work with Pete.

My big chance would be at lunch that day. I could invite him to sit with us, and maybe he'd see we'd be his friends too. He could actually like people who weren't in his little pack.

The morning class periods passed with agonizing slowness, and by the time the dismissal bell before lunch rang, I was running out the door. In my hurry to the lunchroom, I completely plowed into a kid, knocking him over.

"Oh, man, I'm so sorry," I said, helping him up, then helping him pick up his books. "I wasn't paying attention at all, my minds too occupied. Are you okay?"

He nods, "Yeah, just a bit jumbled up now. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" I persisted. I felt really bad for knocking him over. He looked like a nice guy, like someone who would do anything for anyone, and never ask for anything in return. I momentarily forgot about the hurry I was in, focusing rather on the boy. 

He laughed at my stubbornness, "Yes, I'll be good, thank you."

He started walking away, and I was confused where he was going, it was lunch time. Instead of moving on to lunch, like I probably should have, I walked with the boy, in the opposite direction of the lunchroom. 

"Where are you going?" I asked, letting my curious nature get the best of me. 

He looked down at his sneaked as we walked. "The, uh, library."

"Oh, you have some studying to do. Wow, you're sure proactive. My mom would probably tell me I should be a little bit more like you. She's always bothering me about schoolwork, you know?" I rambled on. I still had no idea what caused me to talk to the boy.

"I'm not studying, I just need somewhere to sit. I don't have many friends," the boy mumbled. I realized why I felt the need to talk to him. He was a little like me, I guess.

"Hm," I said, thinking. You could sit with me, if you want. My friends are pretty cool."

He looked at me then, his face lighting up. This was just what he needed. I was glad I was able to help someone out, even if I had to put off my talk with Pete.

As we turned around and walked to the cafeteria, I said, "So, now would probably be a good time to ask you what your name is. I'm Brendon."

"Patrick," the boy replied as we got to the cafeteria. I nodded in acknowledgement.

I led Patrick to my usual table, which was unusually empty. "I don't know where everyone went," I said to Patrick. "They're usually here by now. They must be buying lunch or something. So what do you like to do?"

Patrick's answer was interrupter by Jon hurrying over to our table. "Brendon," he said anxiously. "You need to go outside now, Pete and Ryan are about to get in a fight. I came by to sit with you guys, and they were already arguing and heading outside. Spencer's out there trying to stop it, but he's not doing very well. It's about you, so maybe you can do something."

I sighed. Pete really was fast with these things, wasn't he?

"Okay, but will you stay here with Patrick? He's possibly my new friend." I asked Jon before heading outside.

I found them soon enough, and luckily the actual fighting hadn't started yet. They were just yelling at each other. Spencer was off to the side, looking around nervously. he said me and ran over to me. 

"What happened?" I asked as we walked to them. 

"Pete was trying to convince Ryan to stay away from you. Ryan was mostly ignoring him until Pete called you a fag, that made Ryan really mad." Spencer summarized quickly.

The bits of the argument I could hear were making sense now, things about how no one gets to call him that, and Pete's response of 'why do you even care?'

I decided to step in immediately. I walked in between them and said, "Stop arguing, please."

At least I was being polite.

Pete glared at me and said, "Stay out of my shit, Urie. See I told you he's just a dumbass."

"Don't fucking say that!" Ryan yelled. This was going well.

"Stop fighting, and listen to me!" I said in the sternest voice I could manage. It amazingly worked, at least for a little while.

"Okay, Pete, first, you don't need to get Ryan to stay away from me. For one reason, it's useless, and for another, there are better ways to do it. You could just be friends with Ryan and me, you know. I don't think you're a bad person, you're probably cool when you're not threatening me. Then you wouldn't lose any friends, and you'd gain more! See, it's a win win situation!" I said. Pete didn't look convinced, but he did look like he was thinking about it. I guess that's the most I could expect.

"And just a little bit of advice, don't call me a fag to my boyfriend, because as true as that may be, it's not a nice word!" I added. I wasn't going to just let myself be called bad names, no way.

Pete looked dumbfounded by that. It took me a second to realize he had no idea Ryan and I were dating. Whoops, I let the cat out of the bag.

Pete looked between Ryan and I. "You're... dating? You two? Is this a joke?"

That hurt a little, and I just stayed silent, looking at the ground. I had been pushed to the limits with the mediating stuff today, I was done.

"Do you think we'd joke?" Ryan asked as he put and arm around me. I curled into his side, inhaling the amazing way that Ryan always smelled. It must be his clothes, or cologne, or something.

Pete laughed and said, "This is like the weirdest plot twist ever."

He didn't even say anything else as he walked away. I couldn't tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing. judging by the look on Ryan's face, he couldn't either.

"I'm sorry about telling him about us, I didn't mean to." I whispered to Ryan.

He pulled me even closer. "It's okay,I don't care. I'm sorry about Pete, though. He really is okay, sometimes. it was out of line for him to call you that."

I nodded in agreement. "thanks for defending me. You're like my knight in shining armor!" I giggled.

"You guys are so coupley it's not even funny. He's defending your honor, you can make him stop a fight by just telling him. How adorable." Spencer said with plenty of sarcasm.

Ryan laughed, "Shut it, Spence, I've seen you do worse. Way worse. Do you remember that one time-"

"RYAN! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER BRING THAT UP AGAIN!" Spencer yelled frantically.

Ryan laughed and tried to continue, "and your girlfriend-"

"Ryan fucking Ross, do I need to remind you your boyfriend is standing right there, keep in mind I have plenty of stories that I could tell him."

At that, Ryan shut his mouth immediately.

"Aw, Spencer," I said. "Tell me anyways, I want to know!"

"No you don't," Ryan asserted.

"I think I do," I argued.

"No," he maintained. 

"But, Ryan!" I continued. He shook his head and kissed me softly. 

"Nope," he murmured.

"Okay," I said, but over his shoulder, I mouthed to Spencer, "You're going to tell me, right?"

He nodded and I smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, yay! I feel like I kind of regained some footing on this one. The last chapter was just a mess, i'm so sorry. Hopefully this makes up for it. or the next one, I have a feeling that one's going to work out well. thank you so much for reading!


	16. Love and Affection

Thankfully, Pete doesn't even come to school the next day, so Ryan and I don't have to worry about him at all. It's all a bad situation, with Pete being one of Ryan's best friends and all, but I hoped we could figure something out. 

For the most part we all just did our best to forget the incident ever happened. Patrick, the boy I had run into in the hallway, ate lunch with us that day and on Tuesday. He was a really cool dude, and I was really glad I had met him. He got along with everyone, because he was just so easygoing.

Jon started sitting with us too, and I loved that, because Jon Walker was just an amazing person.

During lunch on Tuesday, as I was getting up to throw my lunch away, Gabe walked up beside me and said, "William said we're hanging out tonight. You have to bring Ryan, and then you can bring whoever else you want. See ya."

Gabe just walked away then, and I laughed at how unbelievably like William that was. When I got back to the table, I informed them of the outing and invited all of them to come along.

Ryan didn't get a say in it, he had to go like I did, and Jon and Spencer both said they could go. "Do you want to come, Patrick?" I asked him.

"Um, I don't know if your other friends would be okay with that," he said hesitantly. 

"Of course they would!" I exclaimed. "Bill will think he's your best friend, even if he's just met you. That's just how he is. And Gabe, he mostly cares about William, so it works."

"If you say so," Patrick said.

I smiled, "Good."

He seemed like he needed friends, like he just needed people there for him. if I had to guess I'd say he hasn't had many friends from school.

"Do you want me to pick you up?" Ryan asked from beside me. His hand was resting on my knee, it has become a habit to him. I loved the little things like that he would do. In school, they were a lot more toned down in school, of course, but he would till do hidden things like that.

School was hard for me, especially when I had to be so close to Ryan, because I was so accustomed to wrapping myself around Ryan, so the little touches that he would do helped me a lot. 

"Of course. That's your job, didn't you know?" I said, smiling at him.

"Oh, well, I never agreed with that," Ryan replied.

"Too bad," I said with a smile. "It comes with hanging out with me."

"Are you guys dating?" Patrick asked out of nowhere. We all turn to look at him, surprised by him asking. "Oh, shoot, I shouldn't have said that, I don't know what's wrong with me, that was rude."

"Oh, no, it's okay," I said, quickly recovering. "No, yeah, we're dating. We're just not out to the school, you know? No need to get beaten up. Are you okay with that?"

It was really awkward to say all of that, but I knew I needed to. If Patrick had a problem with us being gay, it would be better for all of us to know earlier rather than later. I'm not sure what we would do if he had a problem, but it would be good to know.

Patrick shook his head, "Not at all, really. I was just thinking that you guys were acting like couple, and I asked without thinking. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Ryan said, "It would just be cool if you didn't tell anyone, though, if that's okay." 

Patrick nodded, and the matter was apparently settled for the day. I was glad things had gone as well as they had, and Patrick turned out to be even cooler than I had thought.

The rest of my classes pass slowly, until I get to English with Ryan. We, yet again, didn't get anything done for our project. We attempted to, but the whole thing ended with us arguing about a song I had brought up.

The bell rang, meaning we were dismissed from school for the day. "Are you just going to come home from school with me?" Ryan asked me as we walked out of the classroom.

"Sure, but we probably have a couple of hours before we're going to go with William, you know?" I point out.

Ryan smiled, a knowing look in his eyes. "Yeah, and I have the house to myself for now."

I smiled, understanding what he was hinting at. "Sounds good."


	17. I'm Trying To Figure Out

"Do you have any food?" I ask Ryan as soon as we get into his house. I don't either bother waiting for his answer as I walk towards his kitchen.

"I guess you're going to find out either way," Ryan said as he followed me.

I found a snack bag of crackers in my search, and took one for myself. "Thanks! Do you want some?"

Ryan shook his head and I shrugged as I sat down at his table. Ryan just stared at me the entire time.

"Don't judge me," I said lightheartedly. "I have a snack every day after school, and I'm not changing today. Especially considering you brought me here with the though of corrupting my innocence. I cannot do such things on an empty stomach."

Ryan laughed and pulled a chair up beside mine. "You're so adorable, dork."

We chatted lightly while I finished my crackers and occasionally tried to shove one in Ryan's mouth. After a couple attempts, he gave up and let me feed him crackers.

After my bag was empty, I pulled Ryan in for a kiss, right there in his kitchen. He turned slightly to get a better angle, and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. His tongue pressed lightly at my lips before I opened then. He explored my mouth for a few seconds before a loud ringing came from my book bag. I jumped a little, startled.

Ryan laughed, "You should probably get your phone."

I nodded, already searching through my bag. "Yeah, yeah."

My phone was located in the middle of my math textbook, I have no idea how it got there, and when I finally got it out, I saw it was William who was calling me. 

"Hello?" I answered.

"Took you long enough. Okay, so get your boy toy to take you to the Museum. And tell whoever else is going. Be there in no later than half an hour," William said, giving me no room to protest. "See you later, Brenny!"

"Bye, William," I responded. 

"He sure let you have a say, didn't he?" Ryan commented. 

I chuckled, "Yeah. Well, William said we're going to the Museum. And we can't be late. So I guess I'll tell Patrick, and then we'll go."

Ten minutes later, Ryan and I were in the car, heading in town. "I guess that ruined our make out plans," Ryan observed. 

"I know. Too bad, I was excited. Oh! But William called you my boy toy. Not the other way around, either, ha!" I declared.

"Oh, sure, believe whatever you want," Ryan said flatly, looking at the road. 

"I will!" I exclaimed happily.

"Dork," Ryan said with a smiled.

 

"Why are we at a museum? How is this a fun activity for teenage boys? I mean, I can see Brendon and William hanging out here, gossiping, or whatever they do, but the rest of us?" Spencer asked when we were all gathered at the doors of the museum.

"William apparently really likes museums, and he has the ability to make us do whatever he wants," Ryan answered from his spot right beside me. He kind of had to be right beside me, because of the hold I had around his waist. We might have been in public, but we didn't care about that, it was only school that worried us.

Spencer nodded at the truth in Ryan's words. William could certainly run any show he wanted, we all knew that. Gabe had it the worst, though, considering he was dating William. He could possibly have the same affect on William, if he tried, but he never did. 

They were such an unexpected couple but they actually worked fairly well together.

William was, well, William, and Gabe would constantly crack jokes and smile, and somehow that blended together perfectly.

The museum itself was actually a lot more fun than any of us, except William, had expected. It helped that we were there with a group of our friends, but even without that, some of the things were really interesting.

"Do you think that's real hair? It looks like it," I said to Ryan, pointing at one of the figurines.

"I doubt it," he said. "How nasty would that be?"

"It'd be cool! Authentic!" I argued.

"No, what'd be cool is if that was an actual person, like someone who worked here, and they occasionally jumped out at people to scare them. That would be cool," Ryan said.

"I think you're thinking about a haunted house, but I like the way you think, nonetheless."

We continued talking, not paying any attention at all, when someone jumped out at us from behind a display. I screamed a little before I had the chance to collect myself. Ryan was barely effected, but he was laughing his butt off at me. The culprit was laughing too.

"I didn't think it'd actually work, but you guys were just talking about it, and I couldn't miss my chance," Gabe said, still laughing.

"It's not funny," I pouted, which only caused them to laugh even more.

"Fine, I'll go with Patrick!" I said.

Patrick was looking at some old vehicle with Spencer and Jon. I was pleased that Patrick fit in with my friends so well, because he was such a good guy, and he really deserved some good friends. I joined their conversation easily.

Not even ten minutes later, though, Ryan walked up behind me. "Hi," he whispered into my ear, wrapping his arms around my waist. "You're okay, right?"

I nodded, because I was mostly joking about the being mad. "I was mostly startled."

"I guessed as much, just wanted to make sure," he said before kissing my neck softly.

"Come on, lovebirds, we've got the rest of the museum to see," William said, coming out of nowhere. it was obviously that he had come to the museum way too often, because he knew it like the back of his hand. He used that to his benefit, and he was constantly popping up in a place he was expected. He didn't scare people like Gabe, though.

Ryan and I pulled apart enough to walk, and William came up to my side. "I have to talk to you about something tonight, it's very important, I'll call you."

"Okay," I said automatically. What was wrong? It seemed like something was off with him. 

 

"It's Gabe," William said immediately as I answered the phone.

"What about Gabe?" I questioned. What did he do?

"It's just, we've been together for, like, a couple weeks, you know? And he still won't have sex with me! What's wrong with me? I know I'm not that repulsive, and I'm a great lay, but he wouldn't know that because he hasn't tried!"

I let that sink in for a few seconds before I couldn't fight it anymore; I laughed. 

"William, okay, listen to yourself here, you're worried because you boyfriend of, at the most, two weeks, doesn't want to have sex yet? Do you actually hear what you're saying?" I pointed out.

"Yes..." William said, and I could tell that what he had said had made perfect sense to him. I had to remember that William logic wasn't the same as most people's logic. I'd have to spell it out to him.

"Maybe Gabe just isn't ready. That's completely reasonable, you know? Or maybe he's trying to show you that he's in this for more than sex. Because, don't take this the wrong way, but you kind of have a history of having sex with someone a few times then getting rid of them. I think Gabe's in it for the long run," I explain to him. 

"Really? People think like that? Oh, I guess you do." He said. "Oh, oooohhh. That makes sense, okay. Wow, thank you, Brendon, I definitely owe you one. I guess I was totally out of line for getting mad at Gabe then. Shit, I should call him. Bye Brenny!" William rambled on before hanging up.

I laughed to myself as I put my phone down. In some ways, William was as new to the relationship stuff as I was. I was completely out of my league with the sexual stuff, but he was out of his league with the emotional stuff. We could help each other out with our difficulties, I guess. Or not, considering the last time William tried to explain sex to me. Yeah, I definitely don't need a repeat of that. Maybe I'll just help William out with his issues, and I'll got to Ryan with mine. Hopefully he's better at it than William.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this!!! anyways, this will be the last chapter for about a week or so, because I'm going on vacation, and I can't bring my laptop! I'm so sorry, but I'll make sure to put a chapter up as soon as I get back.


	18. Try Thinking More If Just For Your Own Sake

"Do you think they're doing okay?" William asked Gabe as they sat outside of the school, on the bench that William and I met by everyday. I felt bad for eavesdropping, but when I had come up, I had heard my name mentioned, and I stopped for a second to listen to the conversation.

It turned out that William was talking about Ryan and I. "What do you mean?" Gabe asked from where he was sat, beside William with his arm around his shoulders. William had evidently talked to Gabe and worked out any problems they had. Now William was trying to work out any problems in my relationship, which was weird because thre were none.

William didn't think the same way. "Outside of school, they're like a power couple, you've seen them, but in school, they're still not out. I don't know why, because we are, and it's no problem for us."

I snorted quietly. It didn't matter if William and Gabe had come out, because William didn't even go to our school, a fact that he seemed to forget frequently, and no one would bother messing with Gabe, because he was the sort of guy you couldn't mess with. Ryan and I weren't they same way, we were both tiny and defenseless.

Gabe shrugged. "They're not comfortable with it, I guess."

William continued to look worried. "I'm just afraid that Brenny might end up getting hurt, and I couldn't take that, Gabe, he'd be like a kicked puppy, could you even imagine? And they're just so cute together, there's no reason for them to hide."

Gabe said something in reply to William, but I had stopped listening to them at that point. I sat down at the base of the tree I was hiding behind and thought. At this point, I would be okay with Ryan and I coming out to the school. There was always the fear of getting beat up, but then no one had really batted an eye at William and Gabe, and if they did, they kept their problems to themselves, so maybe that meant Ryan and I could come out too and be fine. It would certainly make school so much better if I could kiss Ryan in the hallways, and sit in his lap at lunch, and just cuddle with him to my heart's delight. All the other couples of the school got to do that, why couldn't we?

 

"Can I talk to you, Ryan?" I asked after we had finished our lunch. Lunch had been great that day, Patrick had brought in cookies that his mom had made and shared them with us, and Ryan sat even closer than he usually did. It only added to my desire to come out that William had sparked that morning. "Alone?"

Ryan looked slightly worried, but he agreed anyways. We walked to the bathroom together. Inside, after checking to make sure no one else was in the bathroom, I pulled Ryan to me and kissed him softly.

He responded quickly, not at all thrown off by my sudden attack. He grabbed my hips andmoved his lips against mine eagerly. Eventually, my tongue slipped into his mouth, and I had to remind myself that we were in the school bathroom.

I pulled back, not loosening my grip around his shoulders.

"What was that for?" Ryan breathed out, recovering.

"That was nice, right? You like it?" I asked, looking him straight in the eyes. His eyes were brown, like mine, but his were lighter and much prettier.

Ryan nodded, "Of course I do."

"Then why can't we do that whenever we want, even in front of the school?"

"There are rules against PDA," Ryan replied, but he and I both knew that was a problem no one was concerned with.

I continued to stare at him, prepared to stay that way until I received an appropriate answer to my question.

"Brendon," Ryan said desperately, "I would like to, but we can't, you know it. The other kids would have a huge problem with it. They're not even used to us not hating each other anymore."

"They don't have a problem with William and Gabe!" I argued, starting to get angry. Why couldn't we just be like all the other couples, why did us being gay have to be a big problem?

"William doesn't even go here!" Ryan exclaimed. "It's not the same at all, we just can't, Brendon!"

My heart hurt at that, and I migt have taken it a little bit too seriously, but at the moment I didn't care. "Are you ashamed of me?" I asked, my voice small.

I was still looking at Ryan's pretty, pretty eyes when I asked that, but there was no reaction like I had expected. He should have said no, immediately, and then he should have declared his love for me, or something like that. He didn't even have to go that far, he just had to show me he really cared.

Things didn't go like they were supposed to, though, maybe because this wasn't a movie, maybe because this wasn't my favorite song with a happy ending. This was real, and real hurt so much more.

Tears gathered in my eyes, and I waited to see in Ryan responded, giving him another chance, and he still had no reaction. Nothing. I couldn't handle it, I walked away. I could have ran, far, far away, as fast as I could, I almost wanted to, but I had to go slowly, let him have a chance to stop me. I was giving him every chance I could to help stop this from spiraling out of control, but he did nothing. 

Maybe he didn't care for me. It was hard to break old habits, apparently. A part of him still hated me.

I didn't bother heading back to lunch, I walked straight outside of the school and sat down on the first bench I found. I let my tears fall freely then, I let my heart crumble on the weight of what had just happened.

Somehow, I had located my phone from wherever it was, I didn't even know, and dialed a number blindly.

"Hello?" A surprised voice said from the other side. "Brendon? Why are you calling?"

I held back my sobs long enough to say, "William, please, can you come get me? Ryan... He's ashamed of me, he doesn't want me, he didn't even try... Please, come, help me."

William made a sound from his side, but I had no idea what it was, because I was too busy crying. "Brendon, Brendon, fuck, hold on, I'll be there as soon as possible, just hold on, buddy," William said soothingly.

I hung up, then, and pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my head in them to hide my tears. This all shouldn't have hurt me as badly as it did, but how could it not hurt, Ryan had gone from a villain in my life to the biggest superhero, ever, just to return to the villain again. It was too much for me to handle, so I sat on the pathetic little bench and let my sobs shake my entire body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's been so long, I'm so crappy, I'm sorry! But anyways, here it is. I hate to say this, but this is coming to an end, There will be twenty chapters to this, and that''s the end. I'll miss writing this, but everything has to end eventually.


	19. Will It Be Alright If We Just Sat and Talked For Awhile?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just posted anothe chapter right before this, so make sure you read that one too, or this won't make sense. MAKE SURE YOU READ CHAPTER EIGHTEEN DON'T MISS IT. Thank you :D

It took William forever and no time at all to come pick me up. He actually only took about five minutes, but in the state I was in, I was no judge of time. All of my thoughts were Ryan, sadness, or old memories. They were songs that I had heard with him, things I had said, things he had said, and all of my regrets. I was quickly driving myself crazy.

When William finally arrived at the school, he found me on my bench. Instead of saying something, he just sat down and put his arm around me, comforting me. It was an act so unlike William, yet so exactly perfect and needed in that moment, and I was truly glad to have him as a friend. William might be a little different, loud, flamboyant, and just too much sometimes, but he was always an amazing person.

After a while, I somewhat collected myself.

“Do you want to go to your house?” William asked, with his arm still around my shoulder. 

I shook my head. “I really, I just want some ice cream, with sprinkles, lots of sprinkles.”

William nodded and led me to his car. “Don’t you usually walk to school?” I ask, not remembering ever seeing him drive to school. Whenever he left in the morning to go to his own school, he always walked, I had never seen him leave in a car.

“Yeah, but you sounded distressed, so I decided it would probably be best to pick you up in a car,” he paused for a second and looked at me with a questioning look as we sat in his car. “Do you... Want to talk about it at all?”

Part of me wanted to scream across rooftops what had happened, and part of me wanted to keep everything locked inside a box, never to be brought up again. “You were right, this morning,” was what I said instead. “I overheard you talking to Gabe, and before that I thought we were doing fine, and we were. But then you got me thinking, and I really had no problem with being out. What was the worst that could happen, you know? Apparently the the worst thing that could happen was that Ryan would not even want to be with me.”

I choked over the last couple words. thinking again how things had escalated so much earlier in the day.

William nodded, just listening to me talk, not remarking on it. “I think we need to get some ice cream, with tons of sprinkle, right away.”

I nodded, and William cranked the radio up, music filled with guitars, drums, and a beautiful voice filled the car and took my mind off of everything. 

After a few minutes, I let go of all of my inhibitions and sang along to the song that was playing, putting my entire heart behind it, dramatically. William chuckled and joined in. The happy, carefree moment helped me tremendously, because it allowed my heart to float back to it’s normal position. It was perfect, like when Ryan would look into my eyes and say sweet things, it wasn’t even back to where it was before the Ryan thing, but this was a very temporary solution, and that was a lot better than my heart being shattered all around my feet.

We pulled up to an ice cream shop, and I jumped out as soon as William stopped the car and ran into the building. William hurried along behind me. There was no one working the counter, because it was one in the afternoon on a Wednesday, so it probably wasn’t the high time at an ice cream shop. 

“Hello?” William called out. “We’re in dire need of ice cream with sprinkles, it’s an emergency!”

A college aged girl with a lot of dark hair and a friendly smile came up behind the counter. “I guess we’ve got to get right on that, then, since it’s an emergency.”

I nodded eagerly, and the girl asked, “What flavors do you want then?”

“I just want a big vanilla cone, with sprinkles. The colorful ones, too, not the chocolate, or the funky balls,” I said, and William gave his order after mine.

Five minutes later, William and I both had ice cream in our hands. As I ate mine, I pretended that each sprinkle took away one bad thing, until I had eaten all of them and there were a lot less bad things around.

“Is this helping any?” William asked.

“Yes, a little. Thank you so much, I’m so glad you were here for me,” I said.

“It’s no problem, Brendon, really,” he said.

We didn’t say anything else, because words weren’t really needed, I had nothing else to say.

 

“Honey, it’s dinner time, will you please come out?” My mother asked from the other side of my door.

I laughed at her wording, and replied, “I already tried that, turns out it’s not a very good idea.”

She was confused, because she didn’t know the alternate meaning of her words, and all she said in response was, “Just please come down soon, sweetheart, I’m worried about you.”

“Me too,” I whispered too quietly for her to hear. Like I had guessed, the happiness from earlier with William was only temporary. Thinking about my relationship, which might not even exist anymore, was soon too much for me to handle. I couldn’t go to school, without him by my side, nothing would be right, I couldn’t go back to how things were before, when I had build this great life around myself. I had a wonderful boyfriend, and a completely group of friends around me, always there. I couldn’t let it go, not when I had gotten a taste of it.

I had waited for Ryan to call me, to apoligize, or something, but none of that happened, and it just put me in an even darker mood.

Was it all over, just like that?

I never did go down for dinner. It’s too hard to come out.

 

The next morning was even worse, because there was no way I was going to school.

My mother, of course, didn’t feel the same way. “You’re not sick, Brendon, and not wanting to go is not a good enough reason to stay home from school. Don’t push me, or I will ground you, and it will be worse this time.”

I was particularly worried about being grounded again, because at this point, it wasn’t like I was going to be leaving the house to go anywhere now, not when I was single and friendless. My mother won in the end though, because she eventually she just pulled me out of the house and drove me to school.

I got to school just as the starting bell was ringing, and I walked to my locker not meeting anyone’s eyes, looking straight at the floor.

That’s how I spent most of the day, and for the first time in awhile, I paid full attention in my classes, glad to have any distraction from my thoughts.

When the bell dismissing us to lunch rang, I groaned instead of running out of my seat. 

I didn’t know what to do, but I did know I sure as hell didn’t want to go to sit in the cafeteria. I surprised myself by even cursing in my head, because I usually just didn’t do it. At the same time, I really didn’t care. 

I remembered running into Patrick earlier in the week, when he was heading to the library for lunch. I figured that would work well enough for me, so I started to head that way. I was about halfway there when I remembered that I had no lunch, but money instead, because my mother had forced me to leave before I could make a lunch like I usually did. 

I could usually skip lunch, no problem, but I had already skipped dinner last night and breakfast this morning, and I knew I couldn't go much longer before my stomach started making scary calls for food, so I decided to risk buying a lunch. Hopefully, I could get in and out of the line without being noticed or having anyone talk to me.

This turned out to be my biggest mistake of the day.

When I was about halfway through the line, a voice called out loudly, “Hey! Can I get everyone’s attention?”

I looked to where the voice was, and out of all people, it was Pete Wentz. And he had the whole entire school’s attention. There was a good chance this had nothing to do with me, but there was also an equally good chance that it did. Pete had never gotten back at me for “stealing” Ryan from him, or at Ryan for turning on him.

I passed it off as me just being paranoid, but as he spoke, I knew I was dead wrong. “I just wanted to let the entire school know this, I found out the other day that we have a brand new couple here, how amazing! I think we should congratulate them. Everyone, the school’s newest little gay boys, Brendon Urie and Ryan Ross.”

There was silence for a moment. It took a few seconds for either the fact that we were gay or the fact that we were together to sink into everyone’s heads. As it did, I could slowly see everyone look around, looking for either me or Ryan. Suddenly, so many eyes were on me, and I could help but notice the looks of pure disgust one some of them. It was so much that I almost cried, I could feel my eyes prick up. And now I had no one to defend me.

Only Pete Wentz would do something like this, only he would stoop this low for such a stupid reason.

Before I could drop my food and run and hide from all the intense stares, one person walked straight up to Pete. 

Patrick broke the silence by saying “Shut up and leave them alone,” before he punched Pete straight in the face. He didn’t even look as Pete feel to the ground, he just went and sat back down.

Someone, Gabe, if I had to guess, started to clap, and some more people followed his lead. Patrick shrugged, and all the pairs of eyes were finally turned off of me. I quickly paid for my food before practically running to the library, where I hid in a little chair in the corner.

I couldn’t even wrap my head around what had just happened. I was pretty sure I owed Patrick a huge thank you.

The rest of the day was strange. I got a lot of weird looks, but no one said anything, until my second to last period. Some jerk had said, “where’s your boyfriend, huh? Not here to protect you?”

I was afraid I was going to get punched, and his tone implied that was just what he was going to do, before someone else stepped in and said, “Leave him alone, man, leave it.”

I didn’t even know the person who had stood up for me, but him and a few of his friends were all there defending me. The jerk backed down then, and just walked away.

What on earth was going on today?

“Thank you,” I said quietly. The guy nodded and that was it.

My next period was English, and I remembered that we were working on the projects still as soon as I walked in. I almost turned around and walked out. I decided to stay, though, not wanting to skip any more classes.

It turned out that I had nothing to worry about, because neither Ryan nor Pete showed up, so I was good.

At the beginning of class, the teacher said sarcastically, “Class, I know you have all been working hard on you projects, and I just wanted to remind you all that they’re due tomorrow. Please, don’t make me want to stab my eyes out while reading these.”

We were allowed to continue working then, and I sighed and pulled out a piece of paper. Ryan and I hadn’t even started writing ours yet. I decided I’d just do my best with it on my own, because turning in a crappy last minute project would certainly be better than nothing.

As I started, I found I couldn’t stop, I kept going and going, my words were pouring out against my will, filling the paper, until I was interrupted by the end of the day bell ringing.

That night I went through my writing and corrected all of the grammar and spelling I could before I moved to the computer and typed it out. Having something to do helped me a lot, so I didn’t have a chance to think about what had happened.

After printing out the paper at eleven, i went straight to sleep, a satisfied feeling washing over me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second to last chapter, saying that makes me want to cry, I hoped you guys enjoyed this as much as I did.Lots of things are happening next chapter, it'll probably be long.


	20. Our Story's Already Been Told

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's an Easter gift for anyone reading this, the final (kind of) chapter! I've had this written, but I wasn't sure when I wanted to post it.

I found it funny how sometimes a month can be so long, and sometimes it could be so short. This past month, though, was even stranger, because it was both. Overall, it had probably been the best month of my life, with a crappy ending. The movie that was my life had used up all of it’s budget in the last week of filming, so they had to do the ending quickly and as cheap as possible. I figured that sounded about right.

I had changed a lot of this month, my whole life had, yet somehow I had managed to come back to how it was in the beginning. Full circle and all. Too bad it wasn’t the same, it could never be the same now that I had gotten a taste of the good life. And for me, the good life was Ryan.

I got up at my normal time, wore my normal clothes, did my hair how I normally did, everything was the same as before; normal. It turns out normal kind of sucks. 

When I got to school, I saw the bench that William and I usually met at. He was there with Gabe, and they were laughing and occasionally kissing. It was great that things had changed for the good for some people, I guess. A month ago, I barely knew William, he was just some kid who barely went to school and would sleep with anything that came close enough to him and was willing. Now he had a boyfriend, a long term one, and neither of them had cheated, yet. It was looking good for him.

I walked past them, staying out of the line of sight, and went towards my locker. I passed Jon, Spencer, and Patrick, who were all hanging out with each other and chatting. I was glad I had somewhat brought those three together to be close friends. Jon and Spencer were friends before, but they weren’t close at all, and neither of them knew Patrick before this.

At least I had changed other people’s lives for the better.

I grabbed my books from my locker, and went off to first period, ten minutes early. I had decided last night that I would know put myself wholeheartedly into my school work, because I really had nothing else going for me. Maybe if I worked hard enough, I wouldn’t be as lonely.

I had also decided to throw myself back into my religion that I had found myself falling out of just a few weeks ago. Religion would always be there for you, and since I was alone now, they gay thing wouldn’t even have to be an issue.

Everything was planned out in my head, I had made the perfect plan of how to go about things on my own. I was strong enough, I knew that, I could make it just fine. I would follow my plan exactly, and by the end of it I would be happier than ever, and successful on top of that.

There was one gaping flaw in my master plan, though. I had forgotten that I had the luck of Brendon Urie, and nothing could really go exactly how I planned.

 

It was lunchtime again, and after the mess of yesterday’s lunch, there was no way I was going to go back to the cafeteria, I knew that much. I grabbed my lunch and went off the the library, taking all the back hallways I could so I wouldn’t run into anyone that I would rather not see. I had done a good job of that so far today, hiding from everyone I wanted to avoid. Hopefully they would just forget about me. Soon I would fade into the background of their lives, and they wouldn’t even notice.

No one bothered me about the gay thing, either, which was cool. The stares were a little unnerving, but I could deal with them, as long as it was only a couple people at a time. The heated stares of the entire school, like I had received yesterday, was what I couldn’t handle. They burned into my heart, weighed me down and slowly tortured me.

I sat down in the comfy chair in the library that I had found yesterday.Here, I was finally safe, and free. I pulled out my lunch and began eating it. My heart sunk a little as I reached the gummies, which I had unknowingly brought two packs. It’s a habit, a little voice in the back of my head said. I did my best to ignore that voice, because it had been telling me things I didn’t want to hear all day. 

It was... quiet in the library. I laughed at myself, because what else was I expecting? A party with the librarians?

My laughter was apparently aloud, because I got shushed angrily by one of the grumpier librarians. Apparently she wasn’t down for the party.

I didn’t play with my gummies as I ate them, and it made the whole thing a lot sadder. I was so distracted by the sad gummies that I didn’t even notice I was alone until someone spoke.

“You could’ve done a lot better job of hiding, you know,” Patrick said from where he was seated in the chair across from mine. He wasn’t alone, either; Gabe, Jon, and Spencer were all seated in various places around me, with their food in their laps, or on a nearby table. I couldn’t help but notice Ryan was conveniently missing, and I pushed that thought away as fast as I could.

“This is pretty nice, though,” Gabe said around his mouthful of sandwich. “It sure beats the cafeteria, smart thinking, Urie.”

I stared at them, completely lost. “Um, why are you guys here?” I finally asked.

Jon laughed, “Because we’re your friends, Brendon, duh, or have you forgotten that?”

I looked down at my shoes, ashamed. “I hadn’t forgotten that, I just guessed...” I trailed off.

“We’re not the ones you’re hiding from, you know,” Spencer said, giving me a look that said he could read exactly what I was doing.

I bit my lip, kind of knowing he was right. “But you guys shouldn't be here with me,” I said, not want to say exactly what I was thinking, that they should be with Ryan, not me.

They all picked up on my unsaid words, anyways, and Patrick said, “We can go wherever we want, we aren’t the unlucky children of a divorce or anything.”

The acknowledgement of the situation hurt, it was a punch straight to the gut, but it was necessary, and I understood.

After that the matter was apparently settled, they were eating lunch with me, no matter how much I fought against it, and I couldn’t go hide. This was the first part of my plan that failed.

 

Lunch was definitely different than I had gotten used to. It wasn’t like before we were friends, but it wasn’t like how it was when we were, either. It wasn't how I had planned everything out, but we already knew that much. This was all going completely against my plan.

It wasn’t all around bad, despite the change, it was really pretty cool. There was an awkward moment when I thanked Patrick for what he had done yesterday. My timing probably wasn’t the best, but I knew it was something that I had to do. No one was quite sure how to react.

Patrick eventually said, “Don’t worry, he had it coming, anyways.”

I laughed at that, and even though it was pretty pitiful as far as laughs go, it could’ve been worse.

I finished my food and threw the trash away, but I find that I’m still left with the extra pack of gummies. I had no idea what to do with it, because I couldn’t eat it, since that would just be so wrong, but at the same time I could give it away, either, that would be equally as wrong.

I spent a suspiciously long amount of time looking at the pack of gummies, completely lost.

My staring contest of sorts was interrupted by another person arriving in our little area. I was surprised, and kind of worried, to see that it was Pete.

My friends (it was nice to think of them as that again) took control of the situation quickly.

“Get out of here, Pete,” Jon said, totally serious. “Leave us alone.”

“Just wait, I’m not here to say anything bad, I promise!” Pete said before he could get punched again. He did have a nice looking (by that I mean completely disgusting) black eye.

“That still doesn’t mean we want you around,” Patrick said, not even bothering to look at Pete.

“Just let me say what I need to say, okay, then pass judgement on me,” Pete pleaded. My friends shared a look that said they had already passed judgement, but let him speak anyways.

“I’m sorry, Brendon, and I’m not just saying it because I got punched. That was a total dick move on my part, and I really regret doing it,” Pete admitted.

Spencer started to say something, telling Pete to get the hell away, I imagine, but I cut him off. “It’s fine, I forgive you. I know why you did it, and even though it was stupid, I can see why. Do you want to sit with us?”

I knew Pete, he wanted to be accepted more than anything. I also figured being his friend would get me a lot farther than being an enemy. He probably wasn’t too bad once you got to know him, anyways.

My friends were shocked by what I said, but none of them argued.

“Really?” Pete asked, completely thrown off. “Yeah, I’d love too.”

There was silence for a moment, before it was broken by Patrick. “You’re still an asshole.”

Pete just laughed and forced himself into Patrick’s chair. “I like you, you’ve got sass, I can see our friendship going far.”

Patrick glared at him and said, “We’re not friends.”

Pete smiled brightly, “See?”

Pete melted into the conversation easier than I could have hoped, and I was right when I though being his friend would get me farther, he was actually pretty cool when he wasn’t being a jerk. And he seemed completely infatuated with Patrick, it would be fun to see how that worked out.

Lunch was over soon after that, and I was amazed by how drastically different it was from the day before. I also noticed how my plan continued to get broken.

 

My next couple periods pass exactly as planned, so things seem to be getting on track a bit more, thankfully.

When English rolls around, I mentally prepared myself for the big today. Today’s it, the end, and we’ve managed to come to a full circle, albeit a bit messy circle.

But just like yesterday, as I get into the classroom, Ryan isn’t even there.

He’s not there when the tardy bell rings, and he’s not there when they teacher starts talking.

“Today’s the final day for the project, I’ll allow you the period to make any last minute adjustments, just make sure your papers are all turned in by the end of the period, or you’ll get a zero,” she said before going back to her desk and continuing to read her book. I had a feeling she was very heartbroken about having to actually teach us again.

I look at my, and technically Ryan’s, finished paper, and I suddenly realize it’s not finished, it’s not done yet.

I quickly hand write another paragraph under all my nice, typed work. It just showed how much I really cared.

“This is all a lie, though,” I wrote. “This isn’t my story, my story doesn’t end on a nice resolved chord. It ends with a gaping hole, it ends with everyone wanting more. There is no more, though, it is simply done.”

This was one thing that had gone exactly according to plan, everything had played out perfectly, except this had left me feeling lost, and a lot worse than the things that hadn’t gone according to planned. Why couldn’t anything work out right?

As soon as I thought that, the door opened, and none other than Ryan Ross walked in. My breath caught in my throat, and it stayed there as her apologized to the teacher for being late, which she couldn’t care less, and then as he looked around the room.

His eyes landed on my, like I had knew/hoped/prayed/dreaded they would. He walked over to the desk beside mine, the desk where he always sat, and sat down.

This was all wrong, it was so wrong, this is not part of the plan. I also shouldn’t be feeling this way, it’s not part of the plan, I’m messing everything up, I’m going to break my own heart again. I’m breathing now, but it’s not in a healthy way, it’s in an on the verge of hyperventilating way.

I’m am tensed up, waiting for him to say something, waiting for him to break me again, but yet again, nothing. Nothing.

The he slides a piece of paper over to me, and I hadn’t seen him write, I didn’t even see him get the paper out.

On the paper, there are only five words, but those five words say so much, so much more than they really are. I realize he’s playing our game from earlier, from when we hated each other, and things have come to another full circle. This is a high stakes version of the game though, my sanity is on the line. This isn’t part of the plan.

The paper says ‘I believe in second chances,’ and that’s all it says, all. 

I'm still not breathing right, I’m not even sure if I’m seeing right by now, but I don’t even think as I slide our project, but more than that, my words, over to him.

We’re taking out little game to levels that are unheard of. This is more than just getting to know each other, this is completely letting each other in, this is too much. Most of all, this is not part of the plan. Ryan was never supposed to see our project.

I watch him as he reads it, once, twice, and one last time. I watch his eyes as they flit across the lines, I watch his hand that he’s holding his paper with, I watch for any reaction. I am completely scared to death, I’m out of my comfort zone, I jumped right off the high end.

Finally, Ryan looks at me, and with that look in his eyes, I believe in second chances too.

We don’t break the silence, we revel in it, letting it speak more than we ever could. We just look at each other.

The bell rings, and Ryan goes to the front to turn our paper in to the teacher. She sighs as she takes it, and Ryan comes back to his desk. He picks up his books and slides them into his bag, then grabs my hand to pull me out the classroom door.

He’s doing more than pulling me along, he’s flat out holding my hand, down the school’s hallways, no longer afraid at all. He leads me to my locker, and as I gather up my books, he holds on to me, steps behind me, and whispers his apologies into my ear. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what to say, in the bathroom. I kept thinking of things, but none of them were right, and then you were crying, and I knew how badly I had fucked things up, and I just couldn’t bear to see you cry, but the right words still wouldn’t come to me. I was so lost. I’m so sorry, Bren.”

After I gather all my books, I lean back into him. “It’s okay, part of the blame is on me too, I overreacted, I’m sorry for that.”

Ryan shushed me and kissed under my ear softly. “Don’t apologize, you were right, you were completely right, it was my fault.”

I turn around to face him then, and in the middle of the crowded hallway, hundreds of kids around us, Ryan kissed me, and I threw the goddamn plan out the window, because it was pretty dumb in the first place. 

 

I went home with Ryan that day, and I would be lying if I said we didn’t spend hours in his room, just kissing, occasionally crying, from relief more than anything. We weren’t over all the hurdles yet, there would still be the time where we would have to tell our parents, and many more obstacles in front of us, but for now, things were good, and they were going to stay that way.

Around six, Ryan’s phone lit up with a new message. When he checked it, it was from William.

“Get your ass down to the park right now, and if Brendon’s ass isn’t with you, I’ll cut off your ass and feed it to evil cats, and make you watch.”

I laugh as I read the message. “this seems like a legitimate threat, we had better go.”

Ryan nodded. “William’s been bitching at me since right after he dropped you off on Wednesday, you know. Bitching kind of makes it sound negative, but it was actually completely necessary, I needed that. He’s relentless, too, he will stop at nothing to make sure you’re happy.”

William loyalty to me is truly touch, and a bit scary, but most touching. “If he’s looking to make me happy, though, getting rid of your ass would be very counterproductive. I really like it.”

Ryan smiled, slightly startled by my language, and my total objectification of him. He didn’t seem to mind much, though. “Bren, that is really hot, okay, wow, let’s go before I can no longer stop myself from completely attacking you.”

I smile, and follow him outside, and eventually to the park where William, and the rest of our friends, of course, are waiting.

William hops up from his spot beside Gabe as soon as he sees me. He runs and gives me a giant hug. “Brenny! You’re here, and you’re smiling! Yay!”

I smile and hug William back. “Yep, things are mostly good. Thank you, so much, I really owe you.”

William pulls back and smiles, “Just help me out when I fuck up with Gabe, because we all know that’s going to happen sooner or later, no doubt.”

“That’s totally doable.”

William smiles, and heads back to his spot, but not before turning to Ryan. “You better keep him happy, my threat stands whenever Brendon’s unhappy, just keep that in mind.”

Ryan nods in agreement, “Yeah, keeping Brendon happy in a number one priority.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page,” William said before sitting back down.

Ryan and I follow his lead, and Ryan sits down in front of a tree. I move to sit down beside him, but he pulls me so I’m sitting on his lap.

“You’re too bony for me to sit on you,” I tell Ryan as I poke him in the stomach. 

He laughs and says, “Nuh-uh, you’re good right where you are. Stay. After being away from you for a couple of days, I can’t handle you being any farther away from me.”

I smile and turn to kiss him quickly.

Jon laughs, “I guess the power couple it back on track, nice to know. Because, really, as cute as William and Gabe are, they can’t pull off the adorable factor that you two can.”

Spencer nods in agreement, and William only slightly argues with that.

Everything’s not back to normal, but it’s even better that way, because I was really done with normal.

Soon, Patrick arrives, with Pete trailing behind him. Ryan looks somewhat surprised, because he missed the events of early, but I shake my head so he knows it’s okay.

Patrick plops down in the grass besides Jon, and groans. “I can’t get rid of him, he’s like an annoying puppy that just won’t let go.”

Pete sits down right beside him and smiles. “You like it, I know. Under your sassy little exterior, I know you really love it.”

Patrick sighs in frustration. But his quick smile that he lets slip for a moment tells me that he likes it more than he lets on.

“Hey, Brendon, I forgot to tell you,” William said. “I’m switching to your school next week. My mom figures I already spend more time there than my own school, so she might as well enroll me. Who knows, maybe I’ll actually go to some classes.”

Gabe said, “You will. you need to graduate with the rest of us.”

I laugh, “Well, it’s good, because seriously, the whole situation was getting out of hand.”

William nods in agreement. 

I smile as I watch all my friends talk, and laugh, and it hits me yet again how far I’ve come in the past couple of weeks. It’s amazing how quickly things could change for the better. And now, I was going to keep all this, for good. 

“Oh, Ryan,” I said as I remembered something. “I have something for you.”

I pull out the pack of gummies that I had leftover from lunch. Ryan smiles when he sees them.

“I packed them today, but you weren’t there for me to give them to you,and it sucked, a lot. So, please, don’t do that again.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” Ryan promised. “now do you want to make something out of these?”

I nodded, and a few minutes later, we had a fairly nice looking heart.

I smiled as we looked at it, and Ryan pulled me in for a kiss.

This month had been awfully amazing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this is blatantly stolen from William Beckett, I know, but it just worked so well with this (and especially Brendon's essay) that I had to use it. And if you haven't noticed yet, I've been using lyrics for all of the chapter titles. I loved writing this, and this is the final chapter. I'm not saying everything is done with this fic, there' one more thing I definitely have to post, and there's potential for more things (like an epilogue). And, if anyone wants one bad enough/sees any potential/I eevn feel like it, I might write a whole entire sequel to this. I'm not sure, but we'll see. Stay tuned for more thing, and thank you so much to anyone who has read this.


	21. Brendon's Essay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what Brendon turned in for their English project.

Music by Brendon Urie and Ryan Ross

 

Music is one of the greatest things in the world, it is something that is more powerful than you could ever guess. It’s amazing all that music can do, it’s really too broad of a topic to ever fully do it justice in a simple essay, so I’m not going to try. Instead, I’m going to tell you a story.

When they met, it was the crashing of the cymbals together, a loud, impactful beginning, fierce and sharp. they didn’t get along, they were two puzzle pieces that couldn’t be arranged in any manner to fit.

As time passed, it kept getting worse, the cymbals kept clapping together, rough and uncomfortable. Then a smooth strum of a guitar broke the clatter of the cymbals, and they were replaced by a soft beat kept on a drum. 

Things were smoothing out, coming together nicely. The bass line had come in with the drums, and they played a little groove together in a soothing manner. The cymbals would come in occasionally, but not as harshly, more of a background noise.

Everything fit together when a smooth, clear voice started singing bright, beautiful words on top of it all. The puzzle pieces that could in no way fit together before, now molded together differently, and now they fit, like they were made for each other. This was a match made in heaven, it was meant to be.

The sound flourished with the help of the singer, and the skilled sounds of the other instruments, and something more beautiful than could be imagined was made. It brought smiles to the people listening, some even rocked back and forth to the beat.

Suddenly, the peace, the beauty, all of it was crumble in front of their very eyes, everything was falling apart, nothing could be fixed. The faithful listeners were filled with dread, and longing for the comforting sound to return, but everything was broken, and harsh, and the cymbals were crashing joyously, joined by horns barking their say loudly.

The singer had stopped, only for a few seconds, before he smiled and started singing a new verse, and somehow, the cymbals sounded beautiful and they blended into the groove of the bass line, and the horns blared little happy spurts of sound, only enhancing the sound of the song. 

It was even more beautiful that it had been before, all the pieces fit together so well that you could barely tell that they were separate pieces in the first place. The people smiled again, filled with happiness and cheer. This is when they came together again.

Music was created, here, and it was beautiful, it told a story of love, hope, fear, and many difficulties, but in the end it worked out so that it was even more beautiful.

This is music, music is more than you can imagine, it is a force than can bring things together unbelievably. This is my story, only in music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra little doo-dad. Just so you know, Brendon isn't expecting to get a good grade on this, I mean, he wrote just one little thing when they had a month to work on it, he's just getting his feelings out. Also, the paragraph Brendon added in class isn't on here, this is just the original part of the essay. Stay tuned for an epilogue!


	22. Epilogue

Today as I walked to the front of the school, I joined William on our bench for the first time in awhile.

"Brendon!" William called, as excited as ever. "Look, I'm actually at the right school now! How weird is that?"

"Very weird. I was almost sure you'd start hanging out at your old school now that you're actually supposed to be here," I shared. 

"I would never do that!" William defended himself. I just raised my eyebrows in a skeptical expression.

"Alright, alright, whatever," William chuckled. "So, moving on, I'm totally making you and Gabe show me all around today. I've never actually been inside this school."

I laughed and nodded my agreement. It would be great to have William here, for good. He was probably my best friend, and it would be great to actually share some classes with him.

"Do you remember that one time we went to the movies, like a month ago? And you were on your phone the entire time?" I asked him.

William nodded. "Why?"

"Well, it was just funny, because, well, Ryan was there, but that was before we were even friends, he hated my guts, actually, he always has, before now at least, and I accidentally hit him with a piece of popcorn I was throwing at Jon, or someone, and that started a full on popcorn war, it was crazy. And you were too absorbed in your phone to notice. I even stole your bucket of popcorn!" I chuckled, remembering the good time. I continued on quietly, "That was the first time Ryan was even somewhat friendly to me. But even though he was never nice to me before that, I had always kind of had a little crush on him."

William looked surprised, "Whoa, dude, details, now."

"Okay, well, I never really knew I was gay for sure, so I didn't realize it was a crush, but I thought he was really cute," I confessed, slightly blushing. "And it always hurt me far more when he was mean to me than when anyone else was. But no matter what he did, I still liked him, I just though that everyone had their reasons for how they are. It's a good thing Ryan really did have his reasons, because I would be a whole lot sadder now if he still hated me, you know?"

William nodded. "I'm glad, too. You two are totally my favorite couple, my life wouldn't be complete without you two together."

I laughed at him, "You are full of crap."

"He definitely is," Ryan said as he walked up to us. I was surprised, but really, really happy, to see him, because he usually never hung out with us before school. I realized I didn't really know what he usually did.

Ryan came up beside me and pulled me in for a hug. "Hi, dork," he said while kissing the side of my head.

I smiled wide, unable to stop myself. "Hi," I said back. We eventually pulled back from the hug, but I just moved to cling onto his waist in a way that we could both face William.

"See, I am not full of crap, you guys are literally the best!" William said loudly, slightly flailing around. He wasn't exactly flailing, more like just randomly throwing his long limbs around. "Stay right like that, I'm going to get a picture!"

We stayed in that position while William looked for his phone, but I really had no plans of moving anyways. Ryan was so warm and he just felt amazing. "Do you remember the day when we had the popcorn war?" I ask him while we're waiting.

He smiles. "Of course I do, you don't forget that much popcorn getting thrown at you, it's impossible."

"That was the first time you were actually nice to me, you know," I pointed out.

Ryan frowned, and I wanted to make it stop, I didn't meant to do that. "I'm sorry about always being such a dick to you. You never deserved that, you're way too amazing for that shit."

I shrugged, "It's okay, I'm just glad you like me now."

He smiled slightly again, and it already looked much better. "Well, I am too, because it'd be a little awkward if we were dating but I hated you."

"Just a bit?"

Ryan smiled, a full on, bright, world smashing smile. "Just a bit." 

I stared at him with his beautiful smile lighting up his face, and his perfect little nose, his pretty honey eyes, and his soft, all around great hair. He was so wonderful, and his character was every bit amazing as how he looked. He was my boyfriend, and I sure as hell won the lottery with that.

"I like your smile," I said. "Somehow it makes you even prettier than you already are."

"I like your smile, too," Ryan said. "But I like this too."

As he said the last part he leaned in to kiss me. Oh, yes, I like that too.

"Guys!" William whined, finally getting his phone. "I told you not to move!"

Ryan and I parted and got back in our original position, looking back at William.

He was looking at the picture he had gotten of us kissing, instead of what he wanted. "I guess this works just as well, actually," William said, examining the picture. "But let me get another of you two like that!"

Later we would look at the picture William took. Ryan and I couldn't look happier, we were both smiling wide, and my arms were circled around his waist. I loved the picture, because it described us perfectly.

The bell rang, and we took off to start the school day. It was sad to have to part ways with Ryan, but him holding my hand the entire way to our lockers made up for that.

 

Lunch is different, with William there, but it's different in a completely good way. We had decided to start eating in the library, because besides occasionally being shushed by the librarians, it was a lot more fun than the cafeteria.

Jon asked William how his first day at our school was going, and before he could answer, Pete had said, "Wait, wait. You mean to tell me that he doesn't go here? That's a lie, no, I see him hanging around all the time!"

That got a good laugh out all of us, and William just shook his head. "I never found it that funny."

That just caused us to laugh more, because William was the only person who wouldn't find that weird. Gabe took a hold of William's hand. "It's okay, babe."

Ryan and I played with our gummies, like we usually did, and the rest of our friends didn't even bat an eyelash at it by this point. They knew it was normal for us.

 

It was the first day in English after the project, and as I walked into the room, I saw people were sitting in their normal seats again. Disappointed rushed through me when I realized I would get to sit by Ryan everyday anymore. I would see him plenty outside of school, and at lunch, but it was kind of sad that in the one class that had brought us together, we would have to be apart. I sat down in my old seat, feeling the foreignness of it. It just wasn't right.

When Ryan came in, he walked right up to the seat beside me. "Ry, we're in our old seats," I pointed out. "Someone else sits there."

He looked down at the chair a moment before shrugging and sitting down. "They can move."

I already felt better, having him near.

"Hello, class. I have your essays graded, and they were mostly what I expected," the teacher said in a way that was clearly not a compliment.

She waked around, handing out our papers. I was nervous, because I knew I had completely ruined our chances of getting good grades in that class with the crappy, last minute assignment. 

She gave the paper to Ryan, and I leaned over to see it. In red pen at the bottom of the paper, the teacher had written, "Clearly done at the last minute, next time make proper use of class time. Despite this, you get an A for creativity and covering the topic in a good manner."

I laughed as I read it, in complete disbelief. Ryan joined my laughter as he looked at me. "Good work," I said brightly.

He leaned in to kiss me quickly. "I totally owe you one, you know."

I nodded, "You can do our next project."

"Sounds fair."

After this, I was pretty sure I'd be a lot more open to partnered projects, as long as Ryan could be my partner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aright, this is the actual end of You Wrote It a Hundred Times (This was mostly so you would know what they got on their project, because really, the whole story was started on that project). I'll really miss writing this, but most of all, I hope you all liked this story!


End file.
